"The Goldberg Variation"
Airdate: December 12, 1999

What a short, strange season it has been. Just when I thought nothing else about latter-year X-Files could surprise me -- the evident writing ability of David Duchovny, Vince Gilligan's sudden lack thereof, the welcome death of Fowley and the unwelcome blahness of the Mulder-Scully kiss -- along comes "The Goldberg Variation", probably the best episode this season. A charming, low-key story of a man whose surplus of good luck naturally leads to the misfortune of those around him, the successful "The Goldberg Variation" wouldn't come as such a shock to me were it not written by...

Jeffrey Bell. The man who out-Shibaned Shiban.

To his credit, Shiban has shown great improvement over the last year ("S.R. 819" being the only episode to properly utilize both Skinner and Krycek), but one reason for his sudden slide down the 11th Hour Hit List was the arrival of avid suckdom contender Jeffrey Bell. Jeffrey Bell wrote "Rain King." If you are an X-Files fan, I really owe you no greater explanation than that, but, if you must: Jeffrey Bell wrote "Alpha." Not good enough? "Rain King" was the episode with Victoria Jackson. And hailing hearts. And lovesick weathermen. You know, that one. One of the worst X-Files episodes of all time. Get 'em, Scully!

Ahem. Well, suffice it to say that Bell has out-Shibaned Shiban yet again, winning the Most Improved award for one of the best Monster-of-the-Week episodes in a long while. "The Goldberg Variation" revolves around the cause-and-effect theories of Goldberg -- that's Rube the inventor, not Bill the wrestler -- as seen in small-time gambler Henry Weems. Weems, well-played by Willie Garson (the second actor from the Partridge Family TV-movie to appear on X-Files in as many weeks), is preternaturally lucky: He wins the lotto, outwits mobsters, and narrowly avoids certain death. Unfortunately for everyone else, all unluckiness -- the effect to his fortunate cause -- is passed on to the nearest individual.

This is frequently very funny, most notably in a scene when a goofy teenager, having received Weems' winning lottery ticket, runs out into the street only to be run over by, yes, a life-support van. The episode borders on the cartoonish -- the Italian mobsters would be annoyingly stereotypical were they not so obviously intended to be -- but in an appealing way. Jeffrey Bell shows here a flair for comedy that, needless to say, was not evident in his previous contributions. While he may be the latest in a number of heirs to the Clyde Bruckman throne, Weems is still a fun and compelling character, and Bell gives him amusing dialogue that, refreshingly, does not attempt to imitate Darin Morgan. "The Goldberg Variation" has a charm all its own. Bereft of pretension, the well-directed episode takes dumb-yet-funny plot devices -- Weems' constant losing of his glass eye, his strange, "Mousetrap"-like Goldberg devices -- and infuses them with sympathy and humanity. It's almost enough to make one forget the terrifying image of a Victoria Jackson-Mulder lovefest. Almost.

-- Sarah Kendzior

The X-Files airs at 9pm EST/8pm MNT, Sundays on Fox.

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