"Doomed"
Airdate: January 18, 2000

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Also, slightly bored and a little hungry.

It stands to reason that one can only watch doomsday be averted so many times before the entire concept becomes blasé. Oh, it's the end of the world, I'm shaking in my proverbial boots. I have no fear: Buffy will save the day. Again.

The episode begins where "Hush" left off: Buffy and Riley are finally talking, but that's pretty boring, so on to the next bit. There's a big earthquake. Riley's all pumped -- apparently the big fluffy golden retriever-type Iowa boy is also an adrenaline junkie. Go figure. He's got a "Gee whiz, my first earthquake!" attitude, but Buffy recognizing the earthquake for what it really is:

A portent of impending doom!

So she goes to Giles, who uncharacteristically brushes off her concern even though he lives on a Hellmouth and yes, natural disasters are generally signs of apocalypse when one lives on the mouth of Hell. Later that night, Willow attends a frat party and runs into Percy, who she tutored in high school and who helped with the whole Mayor fiasco. Willow's ego -- and mine, too -- is dealt a blow: Percy thinks she's a nerd, and boy is he a big jerk. I had high hopes for that boy. Moving on... Willow, emotionally crushed because Percy thinks she's a geek (doesn't everyone think she's a geek?), takes refuge in one of the bedrooms, where she discovers a dead party-goer whose chest has been carved up in a wicked demon game of Tic-Tac-Toe.

So ha! Giles, it is a sign of impending doom. Buffy and Willow report to the Big G, and they figure out that there's more demons out there trying to bring about the end of the world.

I think somebody needs to set up some demon-friendly nightclubs in Sunnydale. Or maybe start up the Demonic Pottery Barn. These nasties need a hobby, stat.

So in the course of hunting the demons down, Buffy runs into Riley and dumps him a couple times because he's just not normal enough for her. He gets a wounded puppy look and goes away, but he never really goes away, because that would ruin his kicked-dog image. The gang -- plus Riley, who meets up with them along the way -- is forced to return to the burned-out husk of Sunnydale High School, where they kick some demon ass. Buffy jumps headfirst into the Hellmouth, which turns out to be little more than a giant hole in the ground, and is pulled out again by Riley. Tada. Apocalypse averted.

But with the end of the world thing failing as far as storylines go, this episode has another reason for being memorable. In Spike's nosedive toward complete pathetic-ness, he takes some giant strides in both directions with "Doomed". Still living in Xander's basement for reasons that are a mystery to most of us, poor Spike ends up shrinking his clothes in the wash (gasp! Not his one and only outfit!), and is forced to wear Xander's clothes.

One: I know for a fact that Xander owns clothes other than really stupid-looking Hawaiian shirts and shorts that are almost long enough to qualify as pants. Two: I think that Spike, being a sensual vampiric creature, would be more comfortable naked than he would be in those clothes. Therefore I recommend the naked plan.

Spike ends up trying to dust himself (and who wouldn't, if they had to wear those pants?), but is interrupted by Willow and Xander. Willow decides that they need to bring him along to the end of the world so he won't try to dust himself again. And wandering the streets of Sunnydale in Xander's horrid attire, it's painfully obvious that Spike has slammed into rock-bottom. It doesn't get a lot lower than the flower print on that shirt. But there is hope on the horizon: Spike assists in fighting the demons at the high school, and discovers that he can beat on stuff that isn't human.

Finally, finally, violent Spike is back. And by the end of the episode, he's got his black t-shirt back, and he's wearing blue jeans. Blue. It's amazing. But I fear it won't last. Spike is the whipping boy this season, poor gorgeous bastard, and the writers seem to be taking out their aggressions.

Maybe it's because the world almost ends so many times on Buffy, or maybe it's because the commercials for "Doomed" hyped the whole end-of-the-world return-to-Sunnydale-High angle, but I found the whole thing rather anti-climactic. Bit of a yawner. But you must be saying to yourself, "Well, I'll bet you don't have a better idea, you no-talent magazine-writing hack!"

As it just so happens, I do. I'd like to see Buffy stop hogging the ball and being so selfish. Other people have self-esteem to think of, too. Let someone else save the world for a change.

-- Lisa Kincaid

Buffy the Vampire Slayer airs Tuesdays on the WB.

We welcome your comments on The 11th Hour and this review. Please send letters to: letters@the11thhour.com