Been There, Dune That
The long, strange history of Arrakis on film: Part one of our series on Dune.
      by pisher

It is possible to do a film adaptation of a classic work of "serious" literature that is both reasonably faithful and successful (Shakespeare, Dickens, Austen, etc -- though even The Bible is subject to rewrites if the filmmakers want them.) The British generally do this much better than us, for some reason, probably having to do with decent education and stuff like that. It can also happen with a good "serious" contemporary novel -- the script for Cool Hand Luke was a collaboration between author Donn Pearce and legendary Hollywood screenwriter, Frank Pierson. I've never heard anybody complain about it being unfaithful to the book. Of course, I've never met anybody who has read the book either.

Murnau's Nosferatu

But this ideal situation, a perfect melding of literary intelligence with cinema magic, never occurs in genre. A successful book dealing with fantastic events, even if it's written by Jonathan Swift, will invariably be treated as promising but raw material for the screenwriter and director to "improve" upon -- and sometimes they do exactly that. Not often, but sometimes. Preferably long after the original author is safely dead and in the ground, and the work has gone out of copyright.

Trying to put your own personal cinematic spin on a still under copyright book without getting the rights to it first can lead to serious consequences. Bram Stoker's family sued F.W. Murnau over his unauthorized, unacknowledged, and unapologetically expressionistic version of Dracula. Because of that successful (and entirely warranted) lawsuit, the film was out of circulation a very long time, and we might well have lost it forever. Sometimes you just don't know who to root for.

Nearly 80 years and God knows how many adaptations later, Murnau's tradition of rewriting the Vampire Lord's saga has remained intact, though the British-made miniseries came pretty close to accuracy, or would have if Louis Jordan wasn't in it. By the time Francis Ford Coppola's "Bram Stoker's" (yeah right) Dracula was made, the copyright had long since expired, and you could hear Stoker spinning in his grave throughout the movie. And there wasn't a damn thing anybody could do about it. Except tell their friends to save their money. Which is exactly what they did. Less faithful doesn't mean better either. Better means better.

But to return to the subject at hand, Herbert wasn't dead yet, far from it, and he wanted his Dune movie while he was still around to see it get made, thank you very much. His curiosity about the medium of film was apparent. The exercise of power was one of the abiding fascinations of his life, and who comes closer to the power of a feudal baron than a film director -- with the producer as a kind of Imperial Overlord, pulling the strings from a distance? Oh yes. Herbert wanted his Dune adaptation very much, I think. And he wanted to be in the thick of it, exercising what influence he could, while still allowing the filmmakers to do their own thing (while he watched and took notes). And he wanted the money. And none of us blame this man.

But all of us should be grateful the first attempt was as abortive as it was bizarre.

(Back at the windswept desert, pish-ul is tinkering with a weird looking contraption).

Dave: Is that a gom-jabbar, pish-ul?

pisher: Yes, it is a test that separates humans from animals. Wanna try?

Sarah: (enraged) You dare suggest my consort may be an animal? That's MY job!

Dave: Nah, he's just suggesting I may be human. Let's see, I stick my hand in there and -- oh GOD!!! -- IT BURNS!! -- MIND NUMBING TORMENT!! -- PROJECTED INTO MY BRAIN!! -- THE DUNE MINISERIES!!! -- WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?!!! -- THE MOUSE!!!--

pisher: (feeling Dave's pain) ENOUGH! You may withdraw your hand -- young human. You have passed this test.

Dave: I can see the wisdom of it. Ow.

pisher: Be grateful no sterner test awaits you. A harsher trial by far is trying to write a screenplay of Dune that actually works. Many have tried.

Jodorowsky turns himself into a human torch in El Topo.

Sarah: They tried and failed?

pisher: They tried and DIED.

In the mid-70's, a Polish-Mexican (don't say it) filmmaker named Alexandro Jodorowsky, then living in France, was casting about for a new project. He had made several low budget experimental features, most notably El Topo (The Mole), a surrealistic spaghetti western starring himself as a shaven headed gunfighter in a tunic who fights injustice with the help of such kickass chicks as "Small Woman", "Woman of the Hairy Armpits", "Woman of the Large Stomach", and other women named after unfortunate physical attributes. I haven't seen the movie. It's probably not at your local Blockbuster.

I have seen a published screenplay with photo stills. Let's just say it is not on my current list of "must sees". Kind of like Luis Bunuel on peyote (not a good thing), and lacking Bunuel's magisterial sense of focus and ironic detachment. And intelligence. That too. Everything spelled out in mile-high symbolic lettering and you still can't figure out what the hell he's saying, and probably neither can he. Chris Carter without money or the ability to lie convincingly. That's Jodorowsky. Hell, that's just his interviews. Here's a sample of his wit and wisdom:

"I was thinking about Moses. Because the desert is a woman. I think Moses is a phallus, right? And the desert is a woman... the bitter waters of a woman. And in the Bible, Moses turns the sun into a woman, the bitter waters of woman become sweet when he lowers his branch into the water."

I just flipped through the interview in the back of the El Topo book and picked this at random. I could have picked almost any part of the interview and the effect would be approximately the same.

But he has acquired his supporters over the years, most notably John Lennon, who thought El Topo was one of the greatest films of all time. This was back when Lennon was still doing a lot of drugs, of course. I don't know what Yoko thought of it, so don't ask.

Well, that's just my opinion, and not an overly informed one, seeing as I haven't seen any of his movies. If you want another, read this:

http://www.6degrees.co.uk/en/2/20009fteltopo.html

El Topo demonstrates the dance moves that earned him his "King of the Crack-House Disco" title.

But frankly, reviews like this just tend to reinforce my existing prejudices.

Jodorowsky tried to adapt Dune as a movie. There are two vastly differing accounts of how this came to pass -- both of them his. In his first account, he said somebody described the novel to him, and he figured it was as good a story as any and set about looking for backers. In the second version, related much later on, he said he had a visionary dream telling him "Your next film must be Dune," which was pretty damn visionary considering he had never read one page of it at the time. I tend to believe the first version a little more.

But again, I am being unfair to a filmmaker whose work I have never seen, and we will never really know what his Dune would have been like. Not one frame of it was ever shot. I will save myself the time (and 11th Hour the bandwidth) of telling you the story of the Jodorowsky Dune. I will let him tell you the story himself, in his own inimitable manner.

http://www.hotweird.com/jodorowsky/dunestory.html

Finished? Yes, I know. Take a moment to compose yourself. I'll wait.

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