Doin' It To Death
The never-ending trend of Hollywood retreads.
      by Julie Ng

Will 2001 bring us our own 2001, or will it just be a big stinky monkey?

I can only look back on the year 2000 and sigh. Now, I'll be the first to admit that my opinion of corporate Tinseltown tends to lean towards grumpy hyperbole, but I'm sure you've probably heard the same thing in the news, or read the same thing in those countless year-end lists too -- it was a terrible year for movies, genre or otherwise. The future, I fear, doesn't look too promising either.

How can it be that, when the studios are now, more than ever, in the business of making high concept films (a.k.a: no-fuss, easy-to-sell crowd-pleasers with worldwide appeal), with the average movie budget... no, the average paycheque of an A-list actor exceeding the annual G.N.P of several small countries, Hollywood cannot gamble on making edgy movies for smart moviegoers? The focus no longer lies on important elements such as original ideas or story, but on star vehicles, craploads of CGI effects, a cool "music-inspired-by" soundtrack and the numbers, numbers, numbers!

This resulted in a number of soulless, formulaic behemoths believed to be sure things, but ultimately, most of them ended up losing money: Dinosaur, Titan A.E., The Perfect Storm and the utterly unwatchable Battlefield Earth. And while I can think of a few enjoyable films that made back their money and then some, none of them seemed particularly inventive. They were all a remaking of something I'd seen before -- a campy 70's TV show (Charlie's Angels), a comic book series (X-Men), or in Gladiator's dubious case, world history.

The year 2000 is hardly the beginning. Let's face it -- our time has been awfully heavy in movie remakes. Probably the most so since the late 20's, when studios began to convert their silent films into talkies by cannibalizing novels, plays and its own past for new material. And hey, if it worked 60, 30 or 20 years ago, statistics say that it should work again, right? So why not continue to assail that sucker of an audience with products that they can already comfortably recognize? Such is the logic that results in films like Invasion of the Body Snatchers which has been made for every generation (1956, 1978, 1993), or Dracula, the king of all remakes. How many times can you exhume this guy from his tomb? With the most recent incarnation, Dracula 2000, I hope I'm not the only one who believes it's best if we just let him rest in peace.

As you've probably gathered already, like most hardcore film aficionados, I am not much of a fan for remakes. Call it what you will -- a cinematic recycling, reworking, makeover or spin-off, I consider them to be the ultimate in creative-bankruptcy. I'm sure that certain filmmakers may have valid or artistic reasons for trying to do something that's already been done before, but more often than not, the updated versions tremble shamefully under the towering shadows of the classic originals. Take for example, Jan De Bont's The Haunting or the recent live-action Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Unfortunately, I must be in the minority, since both films were box-office hits. If people didn't pay the price of admission (or video rental), they wouldn't be all the rage in Hollywood in the first place.

With the possibility of writer and actor strikes closing in on us, brace yourselves for more. Should the WGA walk the picket lines on May 1st, and the SAG on June 30th, the film industry will come to a complete standstill. It seems as though everyone believes this is going to happen, so studio execs, producers, agents and other dealmakers are working in overdrive to get projects a green light for production before March. That means quickly throwing together films with only a first-draft to base it on, or... looking through the vaults to re-do some old, tried-and-true material.

What a daunting way to bring in the new year, especially in lieu of the January theatrical re-release of 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). I can only guess how long Warner Brothers distributors have probably been anticipating the year 2001, just so they could re-release this title. This groundbreaking film -- so rife with cool ideas and technological innovations for its time -- inspired James Cameron and George Lucas to become filmmakers. Where is our generation's 2001: A Space Odyssey? It's almost as if Kubrick's film is here again to glare us in the face and taunt us: So you've finally made it to the year 2001 and you NASA slackers haven't even gotten close to Jupiter. And your space travel movies! 32 years gone by and all you have to show is Mission to Mars? What the hell is this? My mutant inbred half-brother?

Next Page >