|
Letters
Quote of the Month: "I try to resist, but the VCR calls me like a seductive siren, and before I know it, there I am again... reveling in the yumminess that is Spike."
-- 11th Hour reader Jude, who we thank for giving us the illusion of normality by default
The greatest thing about running your own non-profit web mag is that you can be pretty damn selective about what to cover. Unlike every genre print magazine, we can ignore the requests of the Dracula 2000 publicist and put in an endless series on, oh say, Dune, instead. We can do whatever we want. We do it because we can, but also, because we care. Or at least that's how we rationalize all those James Marsters pictures.
However, due to our staunch avoidance of the creators behind the Scream3UrbanLegends2BlairWitch2IKnowWhatYouDidWithYourShameAndTalent genre, we have remained somewhat ignorant of that not-at-all-rare breed -- particularly common to the horror genre -- known as The Hack. There's a certain morbid mystery to this character -- to think, someone actually had to sit down and write Blair Witch 2. Someone actually intended to direct the Dungeons and Dragons movie -- to make it look like that! It boggles the mind. What could it possibly be like to live and breathe that kind of mediocrity day in and day out? How do they live with themselves? How do they live?
So, when an honest-to-God, flesh-and-blood member of this species comes out of the bland, rotting woodwork that is his life, we at The 11th Hour stand up and take notice. Then we shudder. Then we laugh. Hard. And finally, when all that is said and done, we share:
From: Simonechin@aol.com
To: info@the11thhour.com
Subject: Valentine - please forward to "Lisa"
Date: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 05:46:05 EST
Please pass this message on to "Lisa" in response to her coverage of Valentine.
I'm earning more than a million bucks for my next film and I have 2 more movies after that already.
I wouldn't normally waste my time replying to frustrated internet losers but you were so lame I just couldn't resist.
Get a life, Lisa. Soon.
Best wishes,
Jamie Blanks
Wow! The Jamie Blanks, the director of Urban Legend and, um... uh, the Jamie Blanks! Boy, do we feel silly now. This man has one million dollars after all -- and since money obviously buys class, talent, good reviews, and respect, we know we'd better keep our pesky mouths shut. We've got to have our inside contact when Oscar time rolls around, after all. That Valentine -- wow, can you imagine having directed not only the best-reviewed film of the year, but a box office success, a masterpiece of such quality that all shall undoubtedly look upon this era with wistful glory, thinking, "Wow, I was around when Valentine was released"?
We can't.
We will never know what it's like to be the guy responsible for Urban Legends and the prolongation of Denise Richards film career (and the annihilation of poor, undeserving David Boreanaz's). We will never know what it will be like to look back, at the end of one's life, and see a trail of talentless, tasteless, commercial excess devoid of personality, insight, or originality in one's wake. We do know now, however, that one's last name can be a clue to one's mindset. Best of luck, Jamie, and we'll be checking that direct-to-video aisle every day for those next two big releases!
Moving On...
Firstly, let me say how I found your site. I stumbled across it while doing a search on sites featuring Vin Diesel and Pitch Back, and found your review of the film, and the accompanying article. I so enjoyed reading it that I decided to bookmark your site for further investigation.
I've spent the past week going through your archive issues, and as I surf at work this really cut into my productive hours. But it was time well spent. Finally, I've found a site that tells me things I really want to know, like in which episodes Angel is going to take his shirt off, or when Eric Close is going to get nekkid.
Kudos to your writing staff. Each one has a greatly distinctive style and I found the humor and phrasing very amusing. I can't say I understand this obsession with James Marsters though. Yeah, he's very funny, but that hair? Although, considering who I have crushes on I can't throw stones.
Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that your efforts are definitely appreciated, and I will keep coming back for more. At this point, I'm waiting with bated breath for the February issue to see what goodies you've included. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next issue immensely. Roll on, the 11th!
-- Karen Clark
And a Couple More Good Reasons
That picture of David Boreanaz, the one that illustrates "Half-naked People," reminds me of yet another reason to love genre. Bondage. Nobody does it better. And oh, my, doesn't Mr. Boreanaz look so very luscious in his chains?
(I'm not really a scary person. Really. Honest.)
-- Vicki Farmer
An absolutely wonderful article that had me nodding my head in agreement, murmuring and exclaiming out loud. I recognised almost all of the shows, characters and scenes you mentioned and had a marvelous time reading your article.
-- Heather Fernandes
Murnau or Never
As a long time fan of The 11th Hour, I was thrilled to see a review of Shadow of the Vampire on the site. The review was as insightful and pointed as ever, but I have to disagree with its intensity. Shadow of the Vampire did indeed have the potential to be a truly kick-ass movie. And, as you point out, it wasn't. But it didn't suck.
Its biggest problem was that it couldn't quite decide what it was -- a biopic with a twist, a horror movie, a black comedy, or a satire of diva actors and martinet directors.
But it's a fun little film. Dafoe was wonderful -- Schrek isn't a very good actor, and it's fun to watch a brilliant actor playing a not-so-good one. Eddie Izzard was a hoot, particularly in light of the original film. Hutter is a dimwit, and Izzard does his nested role perfectly. It's not a terribly scary film (although, the moment when Murnau realises that, old or not, Schrek can still kick his ass is pricelessly creepy), true -- for that, people should go to the original.
Anyway, keep up the good work -- if a few failings can't keep me from Loving Shadow of the Vampire, one review I disagree with isn't going to keep me from reading The 11th Hour. Hell, wild horses and a 28.8 modem couldn't keep me from reading it.
-- Ealasaid
Nielsen Ratings
I just wanted to say that I enjoyed the article on women in genre movies. Hopefully this trend will reverse itself soon - good female characters seem to come and go in waves. But, while I enjoyed the article, I had to disagree with one point - I absolutely loathed Connie Nielsen in Gladiator. To me, her character epitomized everything that sucks about women in movies today. Why? Well, I have several reasons.
First and foremost, the character was altogether too passive. There were several times in the movie when she could have taken steps and changed the course of the action, but she didn't. For example, she and Commodus were alone repeatedly. She knew he was warped, she knew he was dangerous. She could have killed him at any point in time, using poison or even stabbing him, and gotten away with it. But she didn't. She could have influenced him, tried to push him over the edge and made him reveal his madness in public, but she didn't. She could have plotted with his enemies before Maximus showed up, but she didn't.
The second problem is that the character was weak. Everything hinged on her, and she gave in without a fight and betrayed hundreds because of her own weakness. She betrayed them to save her son, and in doing so she betrayed Rome and its people, including her son (whose life was further jeopardized by her capitulation). Why do women in movies crumble into helpless blobs of pathetic jello when anyone threatens their children? She was too weak to do anything but betray those who depended on her, and I have to say that as a woman, I found that offensive.
-- Rose M. Delckum
Them Computin' Machines What Got Words In 'Em
I thought Rachel Hyland's article on electronic books was pretty interesting, but didn't really go into anything new that hasn't already been discussed in many many other venues... what do readers of The 11th Hour think about e-books? What do the editors of The 11th Hour think about e-books?
Having worked as an editor in the science fiction book industry, I find the invention of e-books kind of fascinating. But I think for some fans, if they can't take their paperbacks on the bus, to the beach, in the bath, in the bed or put it in their bag, the tech has to be more than a nifty gadget. E-books will have to become as inexpensive as a portable cassette player -- something you could lose or break without worrying about losing a lot of money or having to insure it.
And especially for genre fans, e-book don't have cover art the way regular books do. How many of us have picked up a new author's book based on the cover art... how many of us actually know the names of cover artists? I did even before I worked in publishing. And now some of them are close friends.
Hope this email isn't too much of a rant. I enjoy reading The 11th Hour and give you a thumbs up on the site design. And NO, I would not pick it up if it went to paper... I like the net format for magazines -- quick info, great graphics, constant change.
-- Jenni
I totally agree with the fact that online books lead us to Armageddon -- well not really, but pretty damn close. Books are and have always been able to be picked up and read at any moment, anywhere. Being online would just ruin the whole experience of reading a great novel on the toilet. Sure you can print it out or you can a pocket pal thingy, but still nothing comes close to the feeling of paper! I mean come on, it's paper! The crisp feeling, the smooth texture, and the occasionally stain that makes you wonder who and where some one was reading it.
And back to Armageddon! What happens if everything does go kaputzki? We will lose so many great stories written by those wonderful novelists before the late 20th and earlier 21st centuries while the rest will have been destroyed by some EMP or lil Virus thingy. But hey why do I tell you this? You already know.
-- Joe Collins
I was kind of disappointed that you didn't mention Alexandria Digital Literature (www.alexlit.com) in your e-publishing article, since they are all about genre fiction. Tons of SF, fantasy and horror, mostly inexpensive and cool short stories, and you can download to pretty much any device that can fit text. If you get around to doing more features on e-publishing, give these guys a look. And yeah, I work there, but I like it anyway.
-- Jana Wright
Thanks to everyone who wrote in; although we can't publish every letter we do read all of them and greatly appreciate your input. Responses to this issue can be sent to letters@the11thhour.com.
|
