Roswell
"Disturbing Behavior"

Airdate: February 5, 2001

Michael and Maria intercept Laurie Dupree during her escape from her trip back to the house of crazy and the trio manage to elude a ski-masked sharpshooter in The Jetta. (Have I mentioned yet that I love The Jetta? 'Cause I do. Me and all my co-workers have decided to get Jettas. After we win the lottery of course.) After some amusing road trip shenanigans, they finally arrive at Granddaddy Dupree's house in Tucson, Arizona. And while they do meet her uncle and aunt, it turns out that gramps is in fact dead. Which shouldn't come as a surprise to Michael or Laurie because when she first mistakenly took the badly-coifed-one for her grandpop, she screamed, "You're dead!" at the top of her lungs. But since no one at Roswell gives a damn about continuity, both give their best confused looks at the news.

Liz Parker, science whiz. Yeah, right.

Meanwhile, back in the great state of New Mexico, Max unsuccessfully tries to identify the jello mass Michael found at Laurie's gravesite. Since he's a dumbass and the writers have conveniently remembered that Liz is supposed to be some sort of science whiz, he brings her into the UFO Center where she prattles off some crap about water tables and dangerous parasites that's supposed to be important. Brody and Isabel get some air time in this boring mythology development, but the only thing worth mentioning is that I was disappointed that Liz wasn't in the line of fire when Isabel was tossed across the room.

No Liz-splat. Dammit.

Now I could spend pages and pages bemoaning the lack of energy in any scene involving the active participation of Liz and Max, but instead I'll focus on the good. Mostly because if I spent the time necessary to detail how much I loathe about Liz and Max my web designer would kill me and besides, just how many different ways can you say "Liz sucks. Max sucks. Liz and Max suck."?

Sooo......

"Disturbing Behavior" proves that Roswell could, one day, actually be considered "good" (okay, so never "good", but maybe "not crap"). But of course it would require the firing of Shiri Appleby and Jason Behr (okay, so I couldn't resist a little bashing) and flushing the flimsy excuse for a mythology they've been feeding us for the past year and change down the nearest toilet.

Despite the crime that is too little Kyle and Tess (although "Mrrrrrrrow", did you check out that leather jacket on yummy Kyle?), this week's episode spent a lot of time with what I consider to be the show's strengths. There was lots of good Maria/Michael interaction and a strong and helpful Isabel. Even Brody made an appearance, and that always makes me happy.

"Disturbing Behavior"'s shining moment, however, belonged to Amy DeLuca. She not only outwitted Maria by bogarting Liz's cellphone, but also avoided the role of hypocrite when expressing her concern for her daughter's safety by admitting her own youthful indiscretions. This by itself would have been enough, but what put her over the top was how she laid down the law to Michael in a manner that brooked no argument and then ended her tirade with a sincere "Call me if you need bail money."

And I thought I had a cool mom.

-- Linda M. Najera

Roswell airs Monday nights at 9pm EST on The WB.

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