Bootleg the Puppy
The TV you want, when you want it, all on your computer screen...
      by Rachel Hyland

So, you live in a country that doesn't broadcast the latest episodes of your favourite genre show? Or perhaps you desperately want to check out the newest cult hit, yet your parents won't fork out for cable? Maybe your video recorder willfully disobeyed your instructions, and refused to tape that very special episode of Profiler, even though you know you set it correctly? (That's what they call smart technology.)

The current cast of Buffy, for whom the law gets broken.

Well, before you do anything drastic, be assured that life is still worth living. For while the network airing may have come and gone -- and, hopefully in Profiler's case, gone for good -- there is an alternative. No longer must you wait around for the eventual video release, or attend crowded conventions, or even pay a hopeful visit to eBay. Now you can get all the joy of an as yet unseen episode of Buffy, or Now and Again -- or even Seven Days, God help you -- all in the comfort of your very own desk-chair.

It's illegal, though. But that shouldn't be a problem.

It is a sad truth of this licentious age that no one has any respect for the law anymore. And almost nowhere is the evidence of this increasing tendency towards anarchy more apparent than on that marvel of modern life, the Internet. In a realm of instant information, where the truth is often obscured and yet very rarely hidden, one can find just about anything. Whatever the interest, whatever the obsession, there is bound to be at least one website, a newsgroup, a few discussion boards and even a mailing list dedicated to it.

And when it comes to something like a popular television show, then there are probably some less-legitimate types of "information" available, as well. We're talking episodes. Full-length episodes, in a variety of file-sizes and qualities, yours for the downloading. All the very best in genre TV is lurking out there on the Net, and all it takes to find it is a little luck, a lot of dedication, and the esteem of some very powerful gods.

It shouldn't be so hard to gain access to these episodes. We can record them. We have the technology -- and it is only getting better. Websites would clamour to host them, even if only to reap the benefits that a substantial hit rate and a grateful target audience would produce. However, it is not to be. Production companies everywhere have started coming down hard on any site that hosts material considered to infringe their copyright -- some have even gone so far as to insist that these sites be shut down. And an argument can be made for their case. They "own" the intellectual property of these shows, and they see the free-to-all access the Internet can provide as a threat to their profits. And, after all, without such profits, they can't go ahead and make more shows that we fall in love with and then want to watch so desperately that we feel the need to download them from the Internet...

The very downloadable Marc Blucas.

The result of this policy is that where once an avid international fan could easily, and openly, keep up with the doings in their favourite TV universes via the World Wide Web, that same fan must now frequent the seamier, peril-ridden underbelly of the Net. And, often, that means Chatrooms.

IRC, or Internet Relay Chat, is a system of on-line communication whereby Internet users can send messages to each other instantaneously -- like a phone, but with typing. These messages are transferred within certain designated locations, called "channels," and, boy there are some scary, scary ones around. General chatting areas can be found on major websites like Yahoo! and Excite; for others, a more specialised program is often needed. mIRC, perhaps the world's most popular IRC client program -- probably due to their very hip "you can pay us if you want, we don't care" attitude -- can be easily downloaded and installed, and allows access to a myriad of meeting places, where just about anything can be -- and is -- discussed. (You haven't lived till you've checked out the happening activity in the EtruscanArt chatroom.) And it is here, somewhere, on unnamed servers and in unlisted channels, that the Holy Grails, offering episodes of some of the coolest -- and dumbest -- genre shows for download, can be discovered....

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