The X-Files
"Chimera"

Air Date: March 31, 2000

"No, Chris, not even for a million an episode...damn you, no!"

So you've purchased the new 'NSync edition of TV Guide (after selecting Justin, natch), and somewhere between those trusty Cheers and Jeers and that perplexing crossword puzzle, a certain ad catches your eye:

"Tonight, in a perfect small town with perfect neighbors and perfect families... lies an evil just waiting to show it's perfect face."

You stare at this page, dumbfounded. The phrase AMERICAN BEAUTY? sits at the top of the ad in bold white print while that familiar FOX logo lays at the bottom. A million questions enter your mind. Are they rerunning that stupid Garbage Monster episode again? How in the world do you get a job for 1013 without learning how to spell "its"? (A quick glance back at their staff list answers this one.) But most of all -- who are these rich, oblivious suburbanites seen so frequently on The X-Files, and even more recently, in American Beauty? Didn't we cover this ground years ago on Peyton Place, on Melrose Place, even? Does anyone really live these kind of gloriously vacuous lifestyles, and if so, do they lend out for college loans?

With the possible exception of that appearance The Rock made on Martha Stewart Living, the whole "perfect American lifestyle is secretly subversive" thing always fell kind of flat with me. Honestly, after Columbine, the war on drugs, the demise of the nuclear family, and a decade of Beverly Hills, 90210, is there anything more dated than the concept of dreamy suburban angst? Did anyone else see American Beauty and think that this impossibly wealthy lifestyle with all that cool camera equipment couldn't really be that bad? It's a sign of the utter complacency of the times that this Leave it to Bullshit tripe can be passed off as real drama. And no one knows this better than The X-Files.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to my agent...&%$#!!!!"

"Chimera" is a story we've seen many times before -- suburban housewife gets restless, has affair, finds out said recipient of affair is sleeping with a couple more residents of the (seemingly perfect, of course) small town, gets pissed, gets her revenge... etc, etc, etc. Okay, so this time she turns into a big monster demony thing (and I guess I should be grateful it's not a Garbage Monster again) and kills them really violently, but hey -- take out the supernatural element, add in a trial or two, and you've got yourself a feasible (albeit cliché) episode of The Practice. The supernatural elements in "Chimera" are almost an afterthought; at heart, it's a basic murder mystery that might have been interesting had the characters been remotely well-drawn and the dialogue halfway plausible.

Don't get me wrong -- The X-Files has definitely seen worse than "chimera" (Garbage Monster, people!), but the fact that this episode aired a week after the Oscar win of American Beauty didn't bode well for originality (and American Beauty itself wasn't particularly original at that.) This seems to be a season seven trend -- I heard today of some upcoming episode that seems to be channeling either Fight Club or Pokemon or the WWF (or all of the above). This from the series that once spawned ID4 and Men and Black -- okay, not exactly something to brag about, but the point is, X-Files used to invent trends, not just mindlessly follow them. They've become the Madonna of series television.

"Hey, wait a second...you're not Minnie Driver!"

Other problems... oh, Scully. Poor old Scully. While "Chimera" finds Mulder out solving mysteries and getting slobbered all over by suburban housewives (and the way that man is looking lately, I can't blame them), Scully is stuck in DC looking at prostitutes through a telescope. Why? Now this I'm still trying to figure out. I'm praying it's because Gillian Anderson had to shoot a movie or had some previous engagement (like begging Fox to let her out of her contract) that allowed her only 10 or so minutes of screen time, because this is ridiculous. The Domination of Mulder is bad for everyone -- shippers who thrive on every interaction between the characters, no-romos who want something new about the shippers to make fun of, people who actually like to see an incredible actress get her chance to shine, the Gillian Anderson Estrogen Brigade -- the individuals hurt by these Scully-less seasons are manifold. Hopefully her own episode next week will help even the score.

Anyway, back to "Chimera"... now what was that episode about again? Clichés don't have a way of sticking in the mind, and inapplicable clichés even less. "Chimera", I recall, was not particularly inept in the writing or performances, but the subject matter and execution felt like it was formatted through some script-writing machine. And as dated and bland as the topic was, there was still room for some creativity. Hell, even Martha Stewart had The Rock.

-- Sarah Kendzior

The X-Filesairs at 9pm EST/8pm MNT, Sundays on Fox.

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