"C" Is For Conspiracy
I'm on to you Philbin, you alien scum!
      by Julie Ng

But how was I even able to acknowledge the signs and clues that aliens are among us in the first place? The answer is simple. We are no strangers to the concept of life on other planets, despite the fact that we've never made contact. We have been able to make do with plenty of books, movies and TV shows to feed our imaginations. The effects and results of these media on our society appear as clear as day in the Newsweek statistics presented earlier. Perhaps just as clear are their (detrimental) influence on me, if my criteria for what makes an alien is in comparing Brendan Fehr's hair to Bob Barker's. Extra-terrestrials are so firmly ingrained into popular culture such that any slack-ass would have some notion as to what an alien might look or behave like. Generally, Hollywood seems to have embraced three types of aliens with which we can easily identify:

The Greys
As seen in: Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Communion, The X-Files.
Big heads, black almond eyes, vertically challenged. Unlike the Game Show Impostors, they would have a pretty hard time normalizing themselves visually into our society. Commonly sighted in real life by drunken teenagers and wives of farmers though there's never any hard evidence to back them up. At the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind it is suggested that the Greys are docile creatures who simply want to communicate. That very well may be, but nevertheless, they seem a little violent in their was of abducting humans -- blowing out the power, rattling furniture and ripping children away from their moms through the doggy flaps in doors isn't the best way to show that they "come in peace". Good or evil, we aren't too sure. The Greys need to work on their public relations.

The Ugly Bugs
As seen in: Them, the Alien Saga, Starship Troopers and many more.
Remember Will Smith's exclamation in Independence Day that he can't wait to whup E.T's ass? It's a reminder that there will always be a supremely vicious and harmful alien species trying to take over our planet. And seeing as they are superior to us in every way possible, particularly in technology, it seems slightly off that these powerhouse aliens always resemble insects -- insignificant objects that we squash on a regular basis without a second thought. That's the point of course -- an ugly, unambiguous villain makes it acceptable for Earth to use only brute force against them. But damn, do they ever look cool onscreen!

The Ones That Suspiciously Look A Lot Like Humans
As seen in: Star Trek, Star Wars, Babylon 5 and many more.
I'm not talking about game show hosts, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, or any other extra-terrestrials disguising themselves as homosapiens. Rather, the ones that save for a measly prosthetic, unintentionally look a little too much like us. Granted, they have fascinating and elaborate alien armies, civilizations and worlds with their own invented fashion habits, mating rituals, cultures. However, note how most of them walk upright on two legs, have two arms and are basically, well, very humanoid: Vulcans (pointy ears), Klingons (lobster head), Bajorans (wrinkly nose), Centauri peacock head). Obviously, low budgets and hours of make-up are constraints, but sometimes these aliens just gets flat out silly and ridiculous (nothing personal, Mr. Roddenberry and believe me, two can play at the game of silly and ridiculous, as you will see below). Anyhow, it would not be very diplomatic of me to single out any particular funny looking aliens *cough* Travolta *ahem*. Besides, that's why they call it science-fiction.

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