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Rights and Wongs
Part II of "The Carter Conundrum", our continuing look at The X-Files.
by pisher
Carter had spent the first eight years of his career trying to do light comedy, and I defy you to find one of his shows from that period on television anywhere. Nobody wants them. He had stumbled onto his true calling with The X-Files -- but now he wanted to stretch out, diversify. Funny one-liners he could do. Not whole scripts. His admittedly formidable talent to copy other artists' techniques did not avail him here. He had written "Deep Throat" one of the most powerful death scenes in television history. But as a noted Shakespearean actor reportedly said on his deathbed, "Dying is easy -- comedy is hard."
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He had stumbled onto his true calling with The X-Files -- but now he wanted to stretch out, diversify.
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And that was a lesson we would all be forced to learn along with Chris Carter. Though as "First Person Shooter" and "Fight Club" have most recently demonstrated, he can be a remarkably obtuse and obstinate pupil. "Syzygy" wasn't all that bad really, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Lurking beneath Carter's calm exterior was a ticking bomb of inanity. Why? How the hell should I know?
(pisher pauses to catch his breath. One would think so.)
Linda: Well, you promised us a long convoluted explanation--
pisher: And I am a criminal sociopath of my word.
Sarah: And now we have to wait another month for your wrap-up?
pisher: Hey, you all waited six months for Carter to wrap up that Mulder suicide cliffhanger at the end of the fourth season.
Linda: Morgan and Wong returned in that season, of course.
pisher: Of course. And they contributed powerfully -- and disturbingly -- to it. But the synergy between them and Carter just wasn't there anymore. They had moved on, developed. Carter tried to move on -- but I'll deal with that next month.
Sarah: But some people would ask why Carter and the Wongs couldn't go on working together, after Space: Above and Beyond was canceled. They had created something together that neither of them has been able to create separately -- a successful TV show.
pisher: I'd guess that for some people, being your own boss is preferable to beating your own boss. And you know what Glen Morgan said in that Sci Fi Channel Magazine interview? -- about working with Spielberg on The Others--?
Sarah: "It's great to be working for the guy you steal from, rather than working for a guy who steals from me." But he laughed when he said it.
pisher: Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from cryin'. Which is what I'm sure he did after he compared the teaser for "Biogenesis" with the teaser for the series finale of Space: Above and Beyond.
Sarah: And now their latest show has gone over to the Other Side.
pisher: Fortunately, that won't be their Final Destination. But will we ever hear from Darin again, I wonder?
Linda: From what I hear, he just sits at home and watches The X-Files every week. The seventh season of The X-Files. Damn, Mozart got off easy.
(We see the California Surfing Man's eyes become increasingly cold and hard. He has finished assembling his sniper-rifle. He is beginning to aim it at the heads of the conversants below.)
Sarah: But why couldn't Carter learn from his mistakes? Why couldn't he take full advantage of Morgan and Wong in the fourth season, support their choices, listen to their ideas for the mythology the way he did in the early days? He wouldn't even let them kill off Frohike, their own character, in "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man." They warned him the Smoking Man was becoming a joke. Why couldn't he trust them anymore?
pisher: Because he trusts -- (a shot rings out! pisher falls to the ground, mortally wounded!)
Linda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
pisher: (still trying to finish his sentence) He trusts -- trusts --
Sarah: (Bending down close, straining to hear) Who, pisher -- who does Chris Carter trust?
pisher: Trusts -- No Wong! (His head slumps to the floor -- dead)
Linda: Well damn. You think we should give him an extension on next month's deadline?
Sarah: Not a chance. So do you want to do the autopsy or should I?
(Above, in the rat-infested loft, The Surfing Man takes a contented puff on his herbal cigarette. Well what do you know? The Wongs were right again. It does work better this way.)
TO BE CONCLUDED
This is the second in a three-part series. The first installment can be found here; the third and final chapter will appear in 11th Hour issue 14, available July 11, 2000.
We welcome your comments on The 11th Hour and this feature. Please send letters to: letters@the11thhour.com
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