Angel
"To Shanshu In L.A."

Airdate: May 23, 2000

Last week, I outlined a few Rules Of Ideal Hot Guy Use in my review of "Blind Date". After "To Shanshu In L.A.", I'm forced to add one more very important rule:

4. Thou shalt not dismember the Hot Guy.

I really wish that writers would heed Rule Number Four. It's essential, and frankly I'm tired of everybody breaking it. First it was poor Alex Krycek (lickable Canuck Nick Lea), who lost an entire arm to Russian villagers on The X-Files. Then Mr. Lyle (delightfully dastardly Jamie Denton) loses a thumb to the Yakuza on The Pretender. And now this, the final insult: the loss of Lindsey's hand.

The fact that Angel, another hot guy, was the one to do the dismembering, is just sad and wrong. But I digress. I've got a whole episode to talk about here, and I suppose the least I can do is say what happened in it.

Remember that scroll that Angel stole from the Wolfram & Hart vault in "Blind Date"? Well, this week, Wesley's working on deciphering the prophecy about the ensouled vampire, and his findings are fairly disturbing: he's pretty sure it says that Angel's going to die. Which I don't think makes a lot of sense, since he's already dead, but moving on...

Meanwhile, at the finally-properly-utilized Wolfram & Hart, Lindsey and his lawyer pals have hired labor to raise a little hell, and what they end up with is a big dude who looks like a less elegant Phantom of the Opera (maybe he's the Phantom of the Movie Theater).

The Phantom of the Movie Theater is trying to get the scroll back so he can work some evil mojo, apparently with the end in mind of bringing Angelus back into the evil fold. (Fine, so long as he wears The Pants.) He afflicts Cordelia with visions that just won't stop, landing her in a psyche ward, and then when he enters Angel's apartment to retrieve the scroll, he leaves a little something behind. Wesley returns from a book-buying jaunt only to find live explosives in the weapons locker; somehow he survives the explosion, but the office and the apartment are goners. And that, I might add, is sad. I was fond of those sets. I had so many nice Doyle memories there...

Moving right along, the Phantom of the Movie Theater goes and slaughters those annoying glittery Oracles (good for him), but the female Oracle's ghost sticks around just long enough to give Angel hints about what he's supposed to do, detracting completely from the impact of the nice dead-Oracles visual we're given. Angel goes to interrupt Wolfram & Hart's ritual, where they're raising something in a big ol' box. He fights the Phantom and wins, but while he's distracted, Lindsey's taken another step in the Pure Evil direction by finishing the spell. We don't know yet what's in the box as it's wheeled away by workmen, but Angel has more pressing concerns: he needs the scroll to pull Cordelia out of her visions before she goes crazy, but Lindsey's holding it over an open flame, prepared to burn the scroll. Angel's not taking any of that, and he lobs Lindsey's arm right off. Sure, it's just the hand and wrist, Luke Skywalker-style, and I'm sure Lindsey will end up with a nifty demon limb or a spiffing cybernetic hand or something, but still. I think it's cruel and unusual.

Back at Cordelia's apartment, Wesley corrects his translation on the scroll: "shanshu", the word that he thought meant that Angel would die, actually means that he'll live: once he's paid his penance, he'll be a human again. With poor Angel's luck, that'll be a few centuries after Buffy dies, and he'll spend his entire human existence moping.

Wolfram & Hart are up to no good back on their turf, as Lindsey visits the new arrival with a few of his colleagues. We're finally shown what's in the box: it's Darla, apparently resurrected from death and looking strangely vulnerable.

First I'll say that this was a solid finale, with plenty of thrills and revelations and action and ass-kicking. Though I found the dialogue a little dry, it still delivers, and "To Shanshu In L.A." was a great episode to end the season.

But there was one major flaw in this episode, and I'm not even talking about the gross violation of Rule Number Four. I'm talking about Darla, here. The wrongness of bringing her back is several levels beyond the wrongness of hacking off limbs. If they're into resurrections, there are many dead characters more worthy of it. Doyle, for one. The Mayor. The Master, the Anointed One, Big Ugly, Vampire #2. What I'm saying is, pretty much anybody, anything except for Darla. In the history of Buffy there have been few actors -- I have few problems with the character, it's that Julie Benz that gets me -- more annoying, and considering how happy I was when Darla died, I foolishly thought that she'd stay dead. The fact that her return is such a big deal only adds to my mounting dismay: this means I'll be seeing a lot more of her next season.

Because I'm not into criticism without offered alternatives, I have a suggestion. Let's dig a big pit. We'll take Darla, and we'll throw her in it. Then we'll find Jheira, wherever she got off to, and we'll throw her in the pit too. I'm seeing a fight to the death for our amusement, and then the winner gets to be slaughtered violently by some ugly flesh-eating creature.

Now, isn't that a much better plan?

-- Lisa Kincaid

Angel airs at 9pm EST, Tuesdays on the WB.

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