The X-Files
"Je Souhaite"

Airdate: May 14, 2000

If you had omnipotent powers, wouldn't you wish for a better haircut?

Oh, how trendy The X-Files has gotten. Just in the last few weeks alone, we've been introduced to an American Beauty knock-off ("Chimera"), an Insider "homage" ("Brand X"), and a ghastly episode called, in a manner that is totally unworthy, "Fight Club". Now, a mere week after the ABC miniseries Arabian Nights comes "Je Souhaite", an episode which, at its worst, could easily bear a co-writing credit with Christina Aguilera.

The main flaw of "Je Souhaite" is the same one that has marred several Vince Gilligan episodes of late -- his supporting characters are so boring. The premise of the episode -- a genie grants wishes which, shockingly, do not work according to plan -- is only interesting when applied to Mulder and Scully. (Or make that Mulder, actually, as Scully once again has little to do here.) Gilligan seems to have succumbed to typical 1013 maladies -- dull, stereotypical characters, poor use of the female lead, a general dumbing down of subject matter. However, he's still Vince Gilligan, and so "Je Souhaite", while predictable and slow-moving, still contains some amusing scenes and sharp dialogue. French-titled Gilligan (see, or maybe don't, "Folie a Deux") isn't quite in the same league of suckdom as Spanish Shiban, but unfortunately he's getting there. "Je Souhaite" is truly middle ground.

"I wish that my contract would end and Fox would give me my money. Oh, sorry, ad lib there..."

The episode opens with Anson, the hero of the episode for the first fifteen minutes, discovering a genie inside a rug at the storage business where he works. After ignoring the repeated cries of his boss for him to get back to work, Anson seals the man's lips shut -- exactly like Keanu Reeves' were in The Matrix. This is typical of the problems with "Je Souhaite", and X-Files in general -- sure, the effect looked cool, but we've been there already. Genre has moved on, and X-Files has been left behind.

Mulder and Scully, of course, are called in to investigate. While they do, a series of mishaps occur that repeatedly hit us with the mantra of "Be careful what you wish for" (one which any Gilligan fan eagerly awaiting another episode by him understands all too well.) Anson becomes invisible, gets hit by a truck, passes on the genie to his brother, who then resurrects him... you know exactly where this is going, down to Mulder's eventual, faulted wish for world peace. That doesn't stop the scene where Anson gets run down from being any less amusing, nor does it spoil a classic moment of Scully gleefully applying yellow powder to the still invisible body. Gilligan, as a writer and as a director (this is his debut episode), is best in the details.

"I think I'll call you...mellow yellow."

He could, however, use some work in the casting department. Both in terms of the character and the actress, the genie just plain sucks. Ever so sardonic, she bitches and moans her way to an ending which, for all those who've seen that obscure flick known as Aladdin, shouldn't come as a big surprise. In short: she feels like she's been locked uptight for a century of lonely nights, waiting for someone, to release... oh, never mind. For all the small, clever moments of "Je Souhaite" (and the great performances by Duchovny and Anderson), the episode overall remains lackluster. In the words of that sage Aguilera, my heart is saying no.

-- Sarah Kendzior

The X-Files airs at 9pm EST, Sundays on Fox.

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