There are few things so gleefully subversive as hearing Betty White, best known as sweet, gentle Rose from TV's The Golden Girls, utter the phrase, "If I had a dick, this is the part where I'd tell you to go suck it." And while the engaging Lake Placid never delivers a moment as slyly satisfying as that particular scene, it does manage to provide enough off-beat humor and terrific special effects to place it far above the usual summer monster-movie fare. Plus, it manages to turn Betty White into a trash-talking, scene-stealing, all-around bad-ass. How many movies can make that claim? I'd like to see South Park do it with such surprise and style.

Lake Placid is the kind of horror story you've heard a thousand times before: a mysterious monster (in this case, a 30-foot, man-eating crocodile) appears in a small town conveniently populated by just the kind of stock characters required to destroy it. By this, I mean the plain-spoken town sheriff (Brendon Gleeson), the skeptical lady scientist (Bridget Fonda), the wild-eyed eccentric (the excellent Oliver Platt) and the stalwart game warden, played by Bill Pullman in a seeming reprise of his pseudo-studly Spaceballs role. However, Lake Placid was written by David E. Kelley, whose prolific and outstanding television career (Ally McBeal, Picket Fences, The Practice) has rightfully earned him a reputation for strange characters and unpredictable, often gruesome, plot twists.

Lake Placid is his second cinematic effort, and while Kelley's talents still work best on the small screen where he has room to flesh out his characters, he still manages to deliver a sharp, entertaining flick. Clever dialogue and good performances (and no, I'm not just talking about the immortal words of Mrs. Bickerman, the character played by Betty White) make up for the lackluster and often derivative premise. Platt and relative-unknown Gleeson take off in Kelley's off-kilter world, while Pullman and Fonda, resigned to the requisite Kelley straight-man roles (see Ally McBeal's deadly-dull duo of Billy and Georgia) are amiable if a bit bland. The other real star of Lake Placid is special effects legend Stan Winston, best-known for Jurassic Park and Aliens, who provides a wondrously realistic monster here as well. It's a creature that would be intensely frightening if the film weren't so silly and sly. As half-comedy, half-horror, Lake Placid will undoubtedly piss off hard-core genre fans with its irreverent attitude and low-key pace. But in the midst of garish, mindless blockbuster fare, Kelley's quirkiness is an inspired relief.

DROOL FACTOR: The charismatic Oliver Platt holds a certain demented appeal, and I'm sure someone out there finds Bill Pullman attractive.

GROSS-OUT FACTOR: Plenty, and expertly done. One character becomes, well, half the man he used to be. Another gets a head. Okay, I'll stop now.

STRONG CHICK FACTOR: Betty White kicks all ass! 'Nuff said.

-- Sarah Kendzior