Know Your Role
How pro wrestlers went genre: The Past, the Present, and The Rock.
      by Sarah Kendzior

"It's about a man from a parallel universe who finds that, as he goes through other universes and kills [the other universe's equivalent of] himself, he becomes stronger," Morgan explains. "He's coming into our universe to kind of kill himself. Of course, the guy in our universe has no idea what's going on. It has a lot of action. The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, plays the good guy and the bad guy."

This project is not the first genre effort for The Rock, who appeared in Voyager, is playing the role of the Scorpion King in the upcoming sequel-to-a-remake The Mummy 2, and is rumored to be getting his own prequel movie based on that character. (When asked about the project on the official WWF site, The Rock Says, "It's just a matter of dotting the I's and crossing the T's and details like that.") The casting coups snagged by the Brahma Bull have surprised many movie fans aware that this is certainly a step up from, say, Triple H playing himself in a bottom-scraping UPN series. Or really, even Mick Foley playing Mankind in G vs E. Because, finally, mainstream America has realized what those of us chanting "Table!" at the tops of our lungs every Thursday have long known.

And you thought wrestling was for boys--Edge, future Highlander star and WWF performer.

It's fake, people. But you knew that, right?

Few arguments against the ubiquitous casting of The Rock hold as little weight as that which assumes a professional wrestler, by his very nature, can't act. A pro wrestler does absolutely nothing but act. The WWF is ludicrous and fabricated -- except, of course, when it's solemn and truthful. This is the great paradox that has so enamored fans of The Rock, in particular -- sure, The Rock is a character created by a team of WWF staff writers... but then why was Dwayne Johnson so, well, electrifying on Saturday Night Live? Because, in some sense, he is The Rock -- in the way that only a natural-born, seriously dedicated performer can be. Take the Mankind out of Mick Foley, and the guy's still got half an ear and hardly any teeth. You see what I mean?

It's the kind of magnetism that has converted even the most skeptical fans to performers like Andre the Giant, the late, great 7'4" WWF wrestler/actor who charmed everyone but the most heartless in The Princess Bride. The same goes for Rowdy Roddy Piper, whose fight scene against Keith David in John Carpenter's They Live remains one of the most popular questions leveled at the latter actor, even over ten years later. "It's certainly the most frequently talked about subject when They Live comes up," David recalls. "It's so funny, because some brothers come up to me and say, 'Hey, you kicked his ass!' And some of them come up to me and they're like, 'Why'd you let that white boy kick your ass?' It's the matter of opinion. In a good fight, nobody really wins. We both get to beat the shit out of each other... But the fight was fun. That was one of the best times I ever had in movies."

"It was touching and insightful," says Morgan of the autobiography of Mick Foley (above).

The same can be said for Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura, whose uneven (Batman and Robin, Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe) but largely impressive (Predator, The X-Files) body of work serves as proof of professional wrestling's outside appeal. Who, after all, would not want to vote for a guy whose voice booms louder than the economy, a man's man who ain't got time to bleed? The rise of Jesse through the 1990s culminated in electoral office, but he had already captured the hearts of genre fans nationwide. "Darin and I used to drive down and see Jesse Ventura in the 1980s," notes Morgan. "That part on 'Jose Chung' was written for him."

And sure, there is a dark side, mostly in the form of the World Championship Wrestling crowd -- Goldberg, the greatest Jewish professional wrestler of all time, was unwisely wasted in Universal Soldier 2, while WCW mainstay (and WWF defector) Hulk Hogan's most notable credits include Suburban Commando and Gremlins 2. But the majority of the WWF superstars, Morgan notes, are worth the box office investment. "The Rock's Saturday Night Live was great," he says, referring to the April broadcast which included appearances by McMahon and other WWF stars. "All of them -- Big Show, Triple H -- can really act." Morgan adds that Mick Foley, who has appeared over the years as Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, and now reigns as "commissioner" of the program, has particular appeal. "I want to make the Mick Foley book into a TV show," he reveals. "Every week -- that would be a great TV show. That book was funny and touching and insightful -- I loved it."

Andre the Giant (right) in The Princess Bride.

And for those who care naught for that whole funny and touching and insightful thing... well, there's always Highlander: Endgame, whose primary asset appears to be WWF star Edge. The fourth installment in the series, which opens September 1, holds living proof that pro wrestling is indeed geared towards women (what, you thought a bunch of sweaty, scantily-clad men pouncing on each other as soap opera scenarios play in the background was for guys?) There is absolutely no purpose for the existence of Edge, aka Adam Copeland -- and his equally long-tressed, often shirtless costar Christian -- than to please the WWF's female fan base. He can't really wrestle. His personality is obnoxious. And who knows if he can act -- but who cares, really, when he looks like that? There are times-in particular, Monday and Thursday nights at 9:00 PM -- where I feel like I must have some defect in my second X chromosome, what with the seeming lack of female interest in this very estrogen-friendly program. So pay attention, girls. This game's for you too.

But, of course, at the heart of it all is Vince, and fewer phrases are nicer to hear in this year of dead, dull genre flicks than "Executive Producer Vince McMahon." Morgan is enthusiastic at the thought of collaboration with the WWF ringbearer. "He's a very, very smart man," says Morgan. "What's important to Vince is that the film is entertaining. The bits that Jim and I had that were sort of character things, he's like, 'I don't know if we need that.' But Joe Roth's company said that's stuff we need, so it'll probably stay. It will be a very interesting process, because entertainment is very important to Vince."

And Vince's brand of entertainment, correspondingly, is exactly what sci fi and horror movies need right now. In a year of indistinguishable characters (Mission to Mars, Supernova), mind-numbing plots (Battlefield Earth, Scream 3), and cooler-than-thou attitude (Psycho Beach Party), genre films are suffering a deficit of charisma and talent. We need The Rock. We need something fun. And for those who still dare to disagree, well, here's a Stone Cold two-fingered salute to you all. "If someone's giving me grief about it, I don't care," Morgan says, laughing. "This is my thing. I enjoy it, I don't want a bunch of people coming over here to rain on my parade or jump on the bandwagon. I've had too many good things ruined that way."

Plus, he's got enough problems to worry about already. "I keep waiting by the door for my new Rock T-shirt to arrive," Morgan confesses. "If it doesn't show up, it ruins my day."

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