When She Was Buffy
Part two of our Buffy guide: a look at seasons one and two.
      by Lisa Kincaid

Back in July, we gave you the first part of our guide to Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- with the aim of getting everyone else just as hooked as we are. Now that you know the locals, we'll take a look at the episodes themselves. This month we bring you a run-down of the first two seasons, and be sure to come back in October for a look at seasons three and four. Meanwhile, now that you're fairly familiar with the goings-on on the Hellmouth, catch new episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the WB, beginning on September 26th.

THE FIRST SEASON

Though only newly arrived in town, Buffy quickly discovers that her destiny is inescapable.

"Welcome to the Hellmouth"
Summary: When Buffy Summers arrives in the small California town of Sunnydale, she's hoping that she's left not just Los Angeles behind, but also her not-very-fun-filled job of slaying vampires and fighting evil. Unfortunately for Buffy, she soon finds that one cannot escape one's creepy-ass destiny, especially when moving to a Hellmouth where a freaky fella called the Master wants to kick some human ass. On the up side, Buffy soon has a support system to help her deal with the slayage, as she meets new buds Willow, Jesse, and Xander, and reluctantly hooks up with Giles, her brand new Watcher and the high school librarian. And on an even higher note, she gets all her dire warnings of doom from a tall, dark, and mysterious stranger named Angel.
And the moral is: You can't run from your past, but you can run into some full-blown hotties while attempting to run from your past, so it's all worth it.

"The Harvest" (Part II of "Welcome to the Hellmouth")
Summary: This Master dude, even with all his leatherness, isn't a very bad bad-ass, because he's stuck in the underground remains of a church and isn't having much luck with the leaving. Fortunately for him -- and unfortunately for our white-hatted heroes -- he can do some "Harvest" magic and use a vampire named Luke as a vessel to eat, drink, and be merry. It's all part of a grand scheme to get the Master free of his prison, and killing the new Slayer in the process is an added bonus, so the Master's boys use poor Jesse as bait; he's turned into a vampire and used to lure Buffy and chums into danger. They escape (of course) and foil the Master's evil plans to munch on the local teen population by killing Luke and busting up the vampire party.
And the moral is: Don't wander off with guys who are terminally stuck in the 70's. They might be vampires leading you to your death, but mostly they're just losers.

Xander, Willow, Buffy and Giles: the Scooby Gang.

"The Witch"
Summary: Sure, we all knew that getting that coveted spot on the cheerleading squad could be pretty cut-throat business, but we never thought it was so literally lethal. Buffy decides that as a part of her "normal girl in a normal world" routine, she'd like to join the cheerleading squad. But when the prospective cheerleaders at Sunnydale High begin suffering from mysterious afflictions -- like spontaneous combustion and sudden blindness -- the Scooby Gang is on the case, and they suspect foul play. All signs point to Amy Madison, a girl who seems to have some witch-y powers, but it's not really Amy who's wrecking the havoc: Amy's mother has used magic to steal her daughter's body in an attempt to recapture her own glory days. In the final showdown, Amy regains control of her own body, and her mother is locked harmlessly away inside a cheerleading trophy.
And the moral is: Don't drink and hex.

Buffy's mystery man, Angel.

"Teacher's Pet"
Summary: One of Buffy's teachers has finally given her the benefit of the doubt and encourages her academically... so it figures he's the one they find decapitated in the lunchroom fridge. The new substitute teacher has all the boys in school drooling all over her shoes, but she's not what she seems; Buffy watches one night as a sharp-utensil-fingered vampire approaches the sub, only to run away in terror. But the guys don't understand the danger -- most especially Xander -- until they're lured to her home, where she reveals her true form, that being a giant praying mantis. She plans to use the young male virginal population to reproduce, which is deadly for the mantis' mate. Buffy and friends show up just in time with some exterminating tools and kick a little vampire ass, leaving Xander still virginal and nicely intact.
And the moral is: The whole male/female attraction thing can be pretty harsh. Before putting the moves on someone, make sure they're not actually a giant insect of any kind.

"Never Kill A Boy On The First Date"
Summary: All Buffy's ever wanted is a normal life, complete with dating. And when Buffy wants something, she goes out and grabs it. Or she tries to. Sometimes. In this case, what she wants is quiet and hunky Owen, who seems to take an interest in her, too. But there's evil afoot -- when is there not? -- and with the Master planning something involving "the Anointed One", Buffy's got her hands full. When the prophecy about the Anointed One seems to be set into motion, Buffy blows it off to go on a date with Owen, leaving Giles to do the legwork himself. He ends up in trouble and Buffy rushes to his aid, bringing a morbidly curious but ultimately clueless Owen with her. She takes down the big bad vamp that she thinks is the Anointed One, but Owen comes out worse for wear, and Buffy decides that maybe dating isn't her thing.
And the moral is: Never kill a boy on the first date. Duh.

Xander: best served beastly.

"The Pack"
Summary: It could be a Fox special one day: When Field Trips Go Bad. Trying to stick up for a geek who's being hassled, Xander ends up quarreling with a group of bullies in the quarantined hyena house. Something strange happens, and suddenly they're all acting strangely predatory and cruel, and Xander starts hanging with the bad crowd. Concerned about Xander's abruptly brutal treatment of his former friends, Buffy goes to Giles for help, insisting that something's wrong. Her suspicions are validated when the school mascot -- a wee little piggy -- is eaten, and they figure out that Xander and the other students have been possessed by the spirits of the hyenas at the zoo. When they seek out the zookeeper for help restoring their friend, they discover that the keeper has been trying to get possessed himself, and he ends up as hyena-chow. Xander and the others are restored to their usual selves, but it's too late for Sunnydale High's principal, Mr. Flutie: the Pack, minus Xander, ate him up.
And the moral is: Technically the moral is probably that it's wrong to prey on the weak. But the more important lesson here is that Xander is especially sexy when slightly evil.

Darla frames Angel for putting the bite on Joyce.

"Angel"
Summary: Ah, finally. Some satisfaction to the yummy sexual tension. After spending the first part of the season lurking about and playing set decoration with his hotness, Angel steps into the limelight. Sort of. When Buffy's attacked by a group of vampires called The Three, Angel helps her to fight them, and they end up hiding out in her house. When he says that his parents were killed by vampires, Buffy assumes that he's human, a vigilante trying to avenge his parents' death. But they get into a hot bit o' liplock, and we quickly discover Angel's secret: he's a vampire, and it's quite likely at that point that he killed his parents. Unable to control his wanna-bite-Buffy tendencies, and probably unwilling to listen to Buffy screaming, he bails out the window and flees into the night. He's paid a visit back at his place by Darla, the vampire who created him, who tries to entice him back to the Dark Side like he's some sorta super-broody Luke Skywalker, and when that fails, Darla frames Angel up for biting Buffy's mother. Buffy's pissed off and has a showdown with her almost-honey at the Bronze. Buffy and Angel work out their issues with a little banter and a lot of violence, and Angel ends up killing Darla to save Buffy.
And the moral is: If you've got Angel in your bedroom, just overlook the vampire thing and don't let him flee out the window. You'll only regret it later when you get no nookie.

"I Robot -- You Jane"
Summary: In an attempt to help usher in the information age, Miss Calendar, the school's computer teacher, starts scanning in books so they'll be available online. Little does she know that one of the books has a demon trapped inside, and by scanning the pages she sets it loose on the Internet. At about the same time, Willow meets a fascinating new boy on-line -- yes, you must see where this is going -- who sweeps her off her feet. Buffy gets suspicious when some computer nerds, obviously minions of the Internet Evil, try to kill her. Meanwhile, the Internet demon feller is having a cybernetic body built for himself, and when Giles and Miss Calendar perform a spell to bind him, he ends up trapped in the RoboDemon shell, allowing Buffy to fry his freaky circuits.
And the moral is: The Internet may not be the best place to score a boyfriend. After all, he could be an ancient demon once trapped in a book and now loose on the web. It's all true. I've known some people like that.

Giles nearly loses his mind -- literally -- in "The Puppet Show".

"The Puppet Show"
Summary: High school has many horrors. The talent show is one of them, especially when attendance is mandatory, but even moreso when participation is a must. The new principal, Snyder, forces the gang to perform in the talent show, and Giles to organize it. Woe is them. But it would be a really boring episode if it was just about a talent show, so it quickly becomes evident that there's evil afoot. The first clue is when a talent show performer is found minus vital organs, and another follows soon after, casting suspicion on a dummy. That's right, a dummy. Like the kind ventroloquists use; them creepy-ass little wooden things. But Sid -- that'd be the dummy -- isn't the culprit; he's a demon-hunter trapped in a puppet's body. Talk about humiliating. And while Buffy thinks he's the evil, he thinks she's the evil. As it turns out, neither of them is evil, and together they kick demon ass just in time to save Giles' plump and delicious brain.
And the moral is: Beware of puppets. Sure, the puppet wasn't the bad guy, but puppets are still pretty scary-ass, like clowns.

"Nightmares"
Summary: Ever have that dream where you show up at school wearing nothing but your underwear? Ever have it actually happen? Nightmares are better when they don't actually come true, but then, of course, we couldn't have a plot. Everybody at Sunnydale High seems to be suffering from their terrible dreams coming to life: Willow's on stage and doesn't know the words; Buffy's become a vampire, and Xander's pursued by a demented clown. But Buffy notices a boy lurking in the background, and discovers that the very boy she's been spotting around campus is the same one who's in a mysterious coma at the hospital, pursued by his own personal demon: his baseball coach, who put him in the coma in the first place. After quite a bit of strangeness, Buffy helps the lad face his own nightmare, the gang apprehends the baseball coach, and all is right with the world again. Or at least, as right as it gets in Sunnydale.
And the moral is: You should fear clowns. Now don't you feel validated?

What Cordelia can't see can hurt her in "Invisible Girl".

"Invisible Girl"
Summary: There's phantom laughter in the halls, unseen forces shoving airheads down stairs, and invisible girls beating jocks with baseball bats. But who could the culprit be? Well, an invisible girl, obviously. She's been so ignored in the halls of Sunnydale High that poor Marcie Ross eventually became as invisible as she felt, and now she's getting her sweet, sweet revenge on the popular set, and Cordelia in particular. When Willow and Xander try to track her down, they're trapped in the boiler room, and Marcie's off capturing Cordelia and her reluctant bodyguard, Buffy. Just as Xander and Willow are passing out from the gas leaking into the boiler room, they're rescued by Angel, and just as Marcie's about to carve Cordelia up in the ultimate psycho revenge against pretty girls, some Feds bust in and save the day. Marcie's carted off to a school full of kids just like her, destined for a glorious future as a super-spy.
And the moral is: Pay attention to the geeks or they may become invisible and kick your ass.

Buffy goes after the Master in "Prophecy Girl".

"Prophecy Girl"
Summary: Poor Buffy just isn't having a good week. First her bud Xander asks her to the dance -- and she has to turn him down, 'cause she just doesn't have the romantic feelings for the guy. Then there's the earthquake to add to her troubles, and to top it all off, she overhears Giles and Angel discussing the prophecy which foretells her death at the Master's hands. Wigged out by that fairly freaksome turn of events, Buffy tries to quit the whole Slayer gig, but deaths at the school and other foreboding signs force her to accept her destiny and her fate. She heads out to fight the Master, and is led into the sewers by the Anointed One, the Master's pint-sized vampire buddy who seems to serve very little purpose other than being a little creepy. She faces the Master in his underground lair, and the prophecy comes true as the Master overpowers her, drinking her blood and finally leaving her to drown in a pool of murky water. Her death releases the Master from his prison, and he finally emerges into the world outside, ready to wreak a little havoc. Angel and Xander come charging to Buffy's rescue, and Xander revives the slayer with some CPR. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the gang's busy fighting off a hoard of vampires and the snake-like tentacle-y muppet that's pushed up through the library floor. They're soon aided by Buffy, who's returned from death quit pissed off; she fights the Master on the school roof and sends him plummeting through a skylight into the library, where he's impaled on a broken beam. The Hellmouth monster retreats, the danger passes, and for the Scoobies, it's time to party.
And the moral is: If there's a prophecy that says you're going to die, you might beat it if you wear sensible shoes.

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