How We Spent Our Summer Vacation
Our staff takes on San Diego Comic-Con 2000.

Some people, when presented with the opportunity to take a vacation, go to a resort, where they eat, drink, swim and slumber in the lap of luxury for days on end. Others travel abroad, idling their hours away in museums, parks and other venues of historical interest. Still others climb in their rental cars, shack up at a Motel 6, and spend four days watching the residents of one of the most beautiful cities in the world gape in horror as a pack of Klingons order a table for 12 at their four-star establishment. And the latter, you see, is why San Diego Comic-Con is just so much fun.

A couple of Jedi chicks pose for our cameras.

Arguably the best geek convention in the world, and certainly the biggest, Comic-Con is four days of scifi, horror, fantasy, comics and all those other things that get us hot and bothered at the 11th Hour. (Yes, that includes James Marsters, who was there in immensely stalkable form himself.) The con offers a series of panels that run all day, every day from Thursday through Sunday, as well as a dealer room destined to bankrupt even the most stalwart of genre fans. (J. Michael Straczynski himself confessed to spending over $3000 by Saturday afternoon.) In short, it's a veritable geek paradise, made slightly less so only by the fact that getting hit on by a four-foot guy in a Spiderman outfit can be a rather disconcerting experience. Yeah, it's that whole chick thing again.

But, happily, this con was an exception. About half the clientele was female, including many of the panelists and speakers. It was a good year for 11th Hour attendance, not that we bothered to get a booth or anything. (Hey, it was our vacation. If you had the choice of stalking the Buffy cast or sitting across from, like, the Troma slut factory handing out little stickers or something, what would you do?) But we did manage to take notes -- well, mental notes -- and bring you this little record of what the members of our American editorial staff (consisting of Sarah, Lisa, Linda and Token Male David) were up to. For those who want the quick and easy version (or who are just here for the Buffy cast pics), we've got a handy rating system evaluating Substance (the content of the panel or speech), Delivery (the manner in which it was presented), Chick Appeal (how female-friendly it was -- take that any way you want it) and Overall Rating (the, um, overall rating.)

Because, like, everyone rates their vacations by a series of factors on a one-to-ten scale, right? Don't they? Anyway, to learn further of our adventures in the geek trade, read on...

THURSDAY
Morning. The Exhibit Hall.

The DC Comics booth in the exhibit hall.

Linda: There are no words to describe the vastness that was the Comic-Con Exhibit Hall. "Miles and miles and miles of crap that you don't really need, but really, really want" might be one way, but that would be totally missing the point -- as well as completely overlooking the presence of the still impressively buff Lou Ferigno and the Fandom representatives who were all dolled up in micro-dresses made from some silver, metallic material. There were so many exhibitors showing so much stuff that my brain went into overload and I ended up buying a lot less than I thought I would. I still spent a lot of money, I just can't remember where it went. I mean, I came home with a bag full of junk, but that was filled with the tons of freebies that various booths gave out. Then there were the sudden appearances of people like James Marsters, Gigi Edgley and almost the entire cast of The Invisible Man to keep things interesting long after we'd picked through all of the Farscape and Buffy merchandise.

But back to the subject of Judy Jetson's slutty friends, I'd like to lodge a complaint. While it was a given that someone would hire scantily clad women to lure male con-goers to their booth, you'd think that Fandom, whose business it is to sell Buffy and Xena merchandise, would realize the power of the almighty female genre fan dollar and pander to our baser instincts as well. Alas, there were no tall, dark, handsome, buff, shirtless guys dressed in skintight, black leather pants for the rest of us. The closest we got were the lickable pictures of Farscape's Ben Browder in leather over at the Creation table.

Okay, so there was that one guy dressed as Wolverine, but I wouldn't call him handsome and he didn't work for Fandom either. Plus, he kinda scared me.

Substance: 10.0
Delivery: 10.0
Chick Appeal: 9.0
Overall Rating: 9.67

Afternoon. Exhibit Hall.

Sarah: To be honest, Thursday's panels left a bit to be desired ("Comic Book Law School 101", "Troma", "eBay 102: Using eBay to Grow Your Business") so Lisa and Linda and I just kind of ditched the whole scene. (Hey, we were on vacation, man!) After briefly contemplating visiting the "Spotlight on Harry Knowles" panel, we decided that, all things being equal, we'd best just cut to the chase and visit the San Diego Zoo. At the Zoo, we saw many fine and interesting animals, pondered buying a leash for James Marsters in the gift shop, and got back right around the time the Con was closing for the day. So we didn't go to an actual panel until...

FRIDAY

1:30 PM. Bryan Singer and The X-Men.

Bryan Singer in a photo which masks his true hotness.

Sarah: If there is one great truth that we all learned at San Diego Comic-Con, it's that while the cast of The X-Men is hot, the crew is even hotter. The lovely Brian Singer managed to violate the Ugly Genre Director Rule (see -- or watch their movies, anyway -- John Carpenter, Dario Argento, Wes Craven, etc), only to be topped by X-Men producer Tom De Santo, who shall be duly analyzed later. Anyway, Bryan was not only easy on the eyes but handled the packed crowd with style, fielding requisite sequel questions with ease and barely blinking when that decidedly not Hugh Jackman-worthy Wolverine wannabe intervened on the fun. The director was also charming to the audience, good with the kids ("I just wanted to know, those metal things on Wolverine, well, um -- how did you do that?" "Adamantium"), and modest even after a $56 million dollar weekend. In short: the Anti-Schumacher, and a looker to boot. Too bad he's gay, huh? Other highlights included a reel of amusing X-Men outtakes and an ardent genre fan publicly wishing that Marvel fans will never have to go through what Batman fans have endured over the 1990s. For genre nerds worldwide, it was truly a moment of communal hope. Me, I was just enjoying the eye candy.

Substance: 8.5
Delivery: 7.5
Chick Appeal: 8.5
Overall Rating:8.0

Next Page >