How We Spent Our Summer Vacation
Our staff takes on San Diego Comic-Con 2000.

Saturday.
2:30 PM. Meet The Specials.

The Specials' Thomas Haden Church and Jamie Kennedy.

Linda: Imagine if superheroes were just normal, everyday people with all of the baggage that entails. Now write a screenplay about it. That's exactly what writer/actor James Gunn (The Toy Collector) did for The Specials. Jamie Kennedy, Thomas Haden Church and Judy Greer (but no Rob Lowe, dammit) were among the film's cast and crew who related stories about how they met and what drew them to the film in the first place with Church stealing the spotlight with his humorous asides.

The trailer was definitely interesting, but I fear that it included all of the really good parts. However, it has Rob Lowe in a tight t-shirt so I may just have to take a leap of faith and hand over my money when it's released.

Substance: 6.0
Delivery: 7.0
Chick Appeal: 4.0 (due to lack of Lowe)
Overall Rating: 5.67

3:00 PM. Spotlight on J. Michael Straczynski.

David: Okay, so the prospect of an informal chat session with the true innovator of quality science-fiction television admittedly filled me with geeky delight. And I'll be damned if this creator, known by the acronym JMS to the legions of fans, didn't live up to his reputation as being not only one of the most down to earth guys I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, but one of the most inspiring as well. After announcing an impending film based on his Rising Stars comic, he proceeded to give a blow-by-blow account of his career -- and all of this was punctuated by an impromptu comic routine revolving around a non-functional microphone.

Substance: 10.0
Delivery: 10.0
Chick Appeal: Um... I don't, um, know. It's hard being Token Male, okay?
Overall Rating: 10.0

4:00 PM. SCI FI Channel: Farscape.

The Farscape panel: Kemper, Edgley, and O'Bannon.

Linda: I must admit, whenever I'm in the throes of obsession, my brain, in the presence of those responsible for my obsession, tends to go PING! It's a scientifically proven fact, people. I have witnesses and everything. Which is why I find it hard to remember much about the Farscape panel at Comic-Con.

David Kemper (writer/executive producer) and Rockne S. O'Bannon (writer/creator) were sufficiently cool, that I remember, and Gigi Edgley (Chiana) was amazingly energetic, just like her character. There was talk of DVDs and upcoming plot points so it had everything this Farscape fan could want. Well, except a leather-clad Ben Browder, but one can't have everything, can one? Plus, that PING! might have been so loud as to attract attention in that instance, and in that very vulnerable state, attention is bad. Very bad.

Substance: 10.0
Delivery: 10.0
Chick Appeal: 5.0 (due to lack of Browder)
Overall Rating: 8.0

5:00 PM. Paul Verhoeven: The Hollow Man.

Verhoeven (right) on stage.

Sarah: Now, when I saw Josh Brolin's big, blank, bland, Brolin-y face splashed across the screen, I should have really known better than to think Hollow Man would rock, and I have only Paul Verhoeven to blame for my self-deception. I mean, if you saw this old Dutch guy up on a stage speaking eloquently about Plato and the morality of invisibility and the horrors of Nazi Germany, you'd probably be fooled into thinking his new film was more than just a series of explosions and naked Kevin Bacon shots, right? (Not that there's anything wrong with either of the above, but sometimes a girl needs a little more in her invisible man flick, and not just of the latter either.) Verhoeven is a compelling and entertaining speaker, and his little "Making of Hollow Man" mini-movie was far more intriguing than the real deal. And the director, sly trickster that he is, also piled on the Free Stuff, thus causing the cheap and easily amused among us to become great fans of Hollow Man -- posters, mini-CDs, holographic key chains and all. He's there! He's invisible! He's Kevin Bacon! He's invisible! Man, this movie looks cool...

Substance: 8.0.
Delivery: 7.0
Chick Appeal: 3.0 for Paul; 10.0 for the trailer. And the keychain!
Overall Rating: 7.5

Evening. Useless Celebrity Sightings.

Farscape's Gigi Edgley signing autographs at the SciFi Channel booth.

Sarah: Waiting at the trolley stop outside the convention center, David and I saw none other than Wil Wheaton, known to the geek masses (and thus employed by Comic-Con) for his role as Wesley Crusher. Despite my lack of familiarity with Star Trek: The Next Generation, I was nonetheless clued into the fact that it was Wil Wheaton by the nametag on his shirt, which indeed read: "Wil Wheaton". Perhaps realizing that this was a rather unwise move, Wheaton, who was carrying a little suitcase on wheels with two flowered pillows on top, promptly removed the tag, declaring, "I don't want to advertise." He then lowered his voice, squinted his eyes, and added, "Disco Stu does not advertise", a phrase likely appreciated by...

...Simpsons creator Matt Groening, who David and I sat right next to at the Redfish Cajun Seafood Kitchen. While it was rather cool to be chowing down so near The Guy Who Made The Simpsons And Futurama, we didn't talk to him 'cause he was, you know, eating dinner. He had fish. (Man, is this what gossip reporters have to do every day? I'm staying in the geek trade.)

SATURDAY
10:30 AM. Caught in the Net: Movie Webmasters on Hollywood, the Internet and the Future of Their Bastard Child.

Sarah: I could be locked in a room with a dozen WCW wrestlers, five Melrose Place scribes and a pack of inebriated monkeys and still witness less idiotic dialogue than this forum exhibited. The true lowlight of Comic-Con, this panel -- made up of webmasters/writers Harry Knowles (Ain't It Cool News), Chris Gore (Film Threat), David Poland (Roughcut), Patrick Sauriol (Coming Attractions), Nick Nunziata (Chud) as well as director Kevin Smith, producer Tom DeSanto, and a moron IGN ringmaster -- was quite possibly the most obnoxious and witless display of insult-slinging I've ever seen. Going in, Linda and I had joked that it was going to be something of a Webmaster Smackdown, what with Knowles and his rivals being there and all, but we were kidding. They, unfortunately, were not.

Lisa skips the webmaster Smackdown to meet these lovely ladies instead: Buffy's Amber Benson and Emma Caulfield.

The questions posed by "moderator" Den Shewman existed solely to fan the flames ("How many emails a day do you receive?" being the new fanboy equivalent of "So, let's take out a yardstick and measure it!") and boy, did it ever work -- within fifteen minutes Chris Gore, a slithery being composed of equal parts boredom and vitriol, had passed around copies of his Film Threat's "expose" on Harry, while the hapless AICN star retorted with a meandering combination of bragging and whining. David Poland, who I had never heard of until this showdown (which, according to him, no doubt, means there's something very very wrong with me), proved equally combative, firing cheap shots not just at Knowles but at internet journalism as a whole.

When not leaning forward with his eyes closed into a microphone, Kevin Smith was amusingly blunt ("Hey, you're Ron Wells? Looking at you, I don't feel so fucking bad!" he said to a Film Threat critic) but raised the tension level even higher. X-Men's De Santo seemed equally weary, fielding snooty fanboy queries on his new film's box office gross with apparent unease. Chud's Nunziata and CA's Sauriol remained the lone voices of reason, but were often drowned out by their screechy little comrades. Shewman smirked ceaselessly through the whole thing, often cutting people off when they seemed at their most thoughtful. Few words were uttered about what I'd assume would be real concerns: how to create good content, how to write well, how to keep motivation going -- why they're doing all of this in the first place. All in all, it was a sad day for internet journalism, one that made me more determined than ever to separate the boys in this field from, well, the girls.

Substance: 2.5
Delivery: 1
Chick Appeal: Negative, not necessarily for those involved, but for the IGN's guy's query as to whether the panelist's web work ever "gets them any action". Not even the sexy Tom De Santo could compensate for that.
Overall Rating: 1

1:00 Trailer Park.

Meanwhile, in the exhibit hall, the SciFi Channel monolith towers over the crowds.

Sarah: Aren't trailers cool? Linda and I think so, and while Lisa toiled away in various Buffy celeb lines, we got ourselves an eyeful of coming attractions. Below, some of the highlights and lowlights:

Godzilla 2000: Oh this was funny! Much better than the "Superbeast"-blaring montage shown on TV, this version contained great (read: awful) dubbing and some truly cool monster shots.
102 Dalmations: Why, God? Why?
Freakylinks: I would say it was cool once you got past the title... but you can't really do that, can you?
House of 1000 Corpses: Amusing but too-long "making of" trailer completely redeemed by Rob Zombie leering into the camera and intoning: "Bring your mom."
The Hollow Man: Oh, how misleading! They should make a special DVD which only contains the trailer and the making of clip, so I can stay a fan.
Blair Witch 2. Trees. Trees. Screaming. Trees. Blah.
Urban Legends. An insipid trailer for a likely insipid sequel which deserved every boo and mocking comment it received. And there were many. And not just from Linda and I. Really.

Linda: The Grinch: Little Opie Cunningham... er... I mean Ron Howard... introduced an unpolished scene from the movie, and despite a Jim Carrey bias -- and a love bordering on obsession for the original animated version -- it looked way cool.
The Specials: Rob Lowe! Rob Lowe in a tight T-shirt! Robe Lowe in a tight T-shirt and Robin-like mask! Some other stuff that was funny but not as important as Rob Lowe in a tight T-shirt and Robin-like mask!
Dark Angel: Dude, it's a James Cameron project with a kick ass female hero. Okay, so it isn't the most original idea in the world (see: Space: Above and Beyond -- and I mean now, dammit!), and it is Jessica Alba and some Fox Network genius scheduled it against regular Angel, but... Dude, it's a James Cameron project with a kick-ass female hero!
Bedazzled: Even if the movie sucks, I'll buy the DVD just for the trailer.

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