Andromeda
"Under The Night"

Airdate: October 8, 2000

Starbuck and Apollo... er... I mean Captain Hunt and his second in command discuss important stuff.

Answering a distress call from a planet full of Nietzscheans -- a genetically designed group meant to be superior to humans -- Captain Dylan Hunt (Kevin Sorbo) and the crew of the pride of the Commonwealth, the Andromeda Ascendent (given voice and form by Lexia Doig), find themselves in the middle of a trap and about to get their asses kicked. It seems the previously tow-the-party-line Nietzscheans are both hell bent on revenge against the savage Magog and tired of the Commonwealth making peace when they should make war. After ordering the crew to abandon ship, Captain Hunt attempts to slingshot the Andromeda to safety but is thwarted by a traitor and instead is sucked into a black hole, caught forever in a time/space anomaly that freezes him and the contents of the ship.

Three hundred years later, the Eureka Maru, a salvage ship -- populated by Beka Valentine (Lisa Ryder) a human female captain, Seamus Harper (Gordon Michael Woolvett), a geeky male human engineer, Trance Gemini (Laura Bertram), some chick with a tail that resembles a season one Roswell Maria in a really bad, last minute Halloween costume attempt, and Rev Bem (Brent Stait), a Magog who looks like northing more than a guy in a moth-eaten Wookie suit with a few extra pieces stuck on -- locates the Andromeda and that’s when things get interesting.

Okay, so not really.

The premise of Andromeda is supposed to be how the brave and capable Captain Hunt, along with his new, rag tag crew set about putting the universe back the way it was. Not a bad idea and it does have a lot of possibilities for action and adventure, but if they’re going to keep my attention, they’ll need to work past those Battlestar Galactica-inspired military outfits from the pilot.

Leather pants, people. Pants, not jackets. Yeah, well tell Sorbo I don’t care what his contract says or how raw his inner thighs are. This is important, dammit!

C'mon now, say it with me: Leather pants, not jacket, pants.

Okay, so I admit a certain fondness for Kevin Sorbo, but not for the reasons you’re thinking. The whole long hair, leather pants, unbuttoned shirt look he sported in Hercules did nothing for me. Instead, it was Sorbo’s regular-guy kind of charm that I liked. And he endows Captain Dylan Hunt with that same appeal. In fact, when Hunt is in a good mood or defending his ship against intruders (You gotta love a man who knows how to handle a weapon that can function as a gun, grenade and fighting staff!), Sorbo is Da Man, but he stumbles over the more emotional moments. His reaction to discovering that everyone he’s ever known has been dead for hundreds of years is pretty damn unsatisfactory. There’s shock and then there’s... nothing. And what we get is the latter. As long as they don’t ask too much of good old Kevin maybe it won’t be so bad, eh?

Our introduction to the Nietzscheans is Hunt’s second in command, a stone cold fox and a traitor who proceeds to get his fine ass killed after a little hand-to-hand-to-wire tussle with Hunt. According to the promo photos, the Nietschziens’ genetic superiority has obviously gone to hell in a handbasket producing the likes of Tyr Anasazi (Keith Hamilton Cobb -- who shares an All My Children: The Sydney Penny Years contamination with recent Buffy guest star Rudolf Martin) which is just wrong, people. Wrong! I mean shouldn’t it be the other way around? Or am I confused again and thinking that life is fair?

Valentine isn’t too annoying and comes off as smart, down-to-earth and competent leader. She could be a good foil for the ultra-heroic Captain Hunt if they don’t dumb her down or make her a walking doormat. Scotty... er... I mean Harper, is one of those people you only keep around because they are so good at their job. If the ship didn’t need any upkeep, I’d vote for shoving him out the nearest airlock. Which is still an option I’d like to keep open. Just in case. Gemini, the purple, cat-girl, is like a big sucking hole of stupid. I suppose the character is meant to be naive, but she comes off like a moron instead. Rev Bam, the Magog, is by far the crew member with the most interesting backstory. Despite his flea-bitten appearance, discovering how a savage race produced an individual that feels the need for redemption for both his and his people’s crimes sounds pretty damn interesting. So far, we’ve not learned much about the Nietzschean Anasazi, and if I had it my way, we never would.

-- Linda M. Najera

Andromeda is syndicated. Check your local listings for show times.

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