Forget all of this even-numbered movie kiss-of-death nonsense (and not just because I really like The Search For Spock.) This alleged Curse of Tutenkhamen in no way excuses Insurrection. There is a sentiment out there of "oh, but it was the ninth movie, so what can you expect?" Exactly! It was the ninth movie! If they don't know what the hell they're doing by now, they clearly need a class in remedial Trek-making, with a refresher course in Pandering to the Fans 101.

I am by no means a Star Wars advocate. The Force does nothing for me. And the best Star Wars character ever, Darth Maul, was only around for, like, six seconds! But looking at the visual splendour of Episode I, I could not help but think it a glimpse of what a Star Trek movie could be. Well, you know, without the racial stereotyping. Or Jar Jar. Trek already has the position of annoying native filled quite nicely, thank you... and at least the character of Neelix keeps an actual actor employed.

The fact that Star Wars: The Phantom Menace made such a huge showing at the box office is not surprising. That Star Trek: Insurrection did not isn't surprising either, sadly. But it should be. The Star Trek vs. Star Wars Death Match has Trek victorious, with Lucas' boys down on the mat, out for the count, with a broken arm and a bloody nose. And though the gang from ILM could show Berman and Co. a thing or two about making decent-looking little robot thingies, they have nothing to share about originality, complexity or sincerity. Neither do they have anything to impart about quality storytelling.

That is something our Trek friends are going to have to find out for themselves.

Let's hope they do. The Year 2000 -- by which time humanity will already have lived through the horrific Eugenics Wars, in which Kahn Noonien Singh conquers a quarter of the globe -- fast approacheth, and we are expecting Star Trek X not long thereafter. Will it continue on where the ending of Deep Space Nine left off? Will it have some actually, oh, interesting antagonists? Will Troi and Riker take another bath together? Tell me we won't have to return to that dreary little anti-aging planet!

And where does all of this leave Voyager?

Star Trek, in all it's incarnations, set the benchmark for intellectual and provocative drama. These were shows that dealt in elegant metaphor with some of the biggest issues of our time. Inequality, racism, terrorism, tyranny. Deep Space Nine's sixth season masterpiece, "Far Beyond the Stars", which has a delusional Captain Sisko living the life of a 1950's pulp science fiction writer, was one of Star Trek's finest hours.

In Voyager's sixth season, I confidently predict that the only masterpiece of elegance to be seen will be in the fine lines of Robert Duncan McNeill's profile.

It is some comfort to reflect that one day those responsible for the current state of Star Trek will come before the mighty Lord God, where they will have to account for their actions. And, if there's any justice, they will then end up in a place hotter than a room full of women watching that gratuitous shot of Patrick Stewart's butt in TNG's sixth season homage to 1984, "Chain of Command."

Ah, those were the days.

Will they ever be again? Well, not that we really need to see any more gratuitous butt shots -- since I'm sure they'd all involve Jeri Ryan -- but what about those days of gripping, insightful drama? Drama that pushed all kinds of envelopes, provoked controversy and debate, and highlighted the dilemmas of our modern lives in a network-friendly futuristic context?

Star Trek's themes of unanimity, freedom, equality and friendship are enduring ones, ideas that lift the spirit, and ignite the soul. I have this hope that we will see them reborn. That out of the ashes of the comedy episodes, the illogical premises and the inconsistent characterisation, we will see once more the brilliance underlying the very core of all things Trek.

A hope that brings the tale of the snowball's visit to Hell forcibly to mind.

Perhaps I am, after all, a hopeless Trekkie. I want to believe it will get better. That the Star Trek Corporation can become, once more, the byword for uniqueness and creativity that it once was. I really want to surrender myself to the possibility that Rick Berman and his ilk will somehow get this baby back on track, and allow poor old Gene to rest easier in his orbit.

But I'm not holding my breath.

And, in the meantime, I guess Voyager Trek is better than no Trek at all.

Isn't it?

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