There is a moment in Free Enterprise in which one of the main characters grumbles over having to spend his 30th birthday with a bunch of freaks. On cue, his troupe of dorky friends start stomping their feet and begin to chant, "One of us!! One of us!!!" in retaliation -- a reference to Tod Browning's Freaks. This did two things to me. First off, I was too shocked to laugh because that is totally something I would do. That entire scene in Freaks is actually common vocabulary among my own friends which we even occasionally perform on public transit (we have no shame). After this realization, I came to a second intensely personal epiphany -- I am SUCH A GEEK! Although I have consistently acknowledged this in jest for years, I only realize to what extent after seeing Free Enterprise.

The movie is a romantic comedy about two Star Trek fans looking for love in LA, only to find an unemployed William Shatner (who plays himself). It is saturated with hilarious, obscure science-fiction movie references; some so obscure that they might fly over even the biggest Trekkie's head. Not surprisingly, Free Enterprise was co-written by Mark Altman, the former editor of the late, great Sci-Fi Universe magazine as well as the author of various Star Trek guides and companion books. His partner on the film, as well as co-writer, editor and director is Robert Meyer Burnett, also a self-proclaimed Trek fanatic.

And so, they tell us the story of two average guys, Mark (Eric McCormack) and Rob (Rafer Weigel). Generally speaking, they are normal human beings who struggle with all things any other adult might -- maintaining healthy relationships, paying their monthly rent, working a dead-end job, anxieties about hitting the age of 30. So what makes them different? That they might miss that month's rent because they spent it all on the Criterion edition laserdisc of Dawn of the Dead, or that they have Logan's Run inspired nightmares about turning 30. Believe it or not folks, this is true to form for sci-fi geeks. We spent too much time watching TV instead of playing outside as kids. We simply have no remorse when it comes to spending absurd amounts of money on memorabilia. But that doesn't make all of us stereotypical tape-on-glasses dorks who wear flight suits to work.

Free Enterprise is clearly written for this certain niche of people and I believe it can only truly be appreciated by science-fiction fans. That doesn't mean that it won't appeal to anyone else. Obviously it has, because it has won for Best Film at this year's AFI Los Angeles International Film Festival. However, forget visual style or great cinematography -- the movie's clever in-jokes and its use of Shatner are its greatest strength. Its biggest weakness is that it doesn't know what to focus on. The love story? Turning 30? Show business in LA? The heftiest portion has Rob meeting a beautiful woman, Claire, (who happens to read comic books also) played by Audie England. Their growing relationship takes centre-stage for half of the film but naturally, it falls apart. During their little crisis point, we learn that although the two have a lot in common, Claire cannot commit to Rob because he is too childish and irresponsible. A perfectly valid reason. But rather than watch Rob learn the error of his ways and try to grow up for this woman who he claims to love, the storyline almost disappears altogether. Even with Shatner rapping to Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, these cute isolated jokes cannot substitute for inconsistent plot. By not following through with the love story, the movie never comes to a final, satisfactory resolution.

If for nothing else though, Free Enterprise is worth seeing just for William Shatner. He cries, he trips, he falls, and again, he raps Shakespeare, fer godsakes! I have so much more admiration for this man after seeing this performance because he basically allowed the writers to show him as a screwed-up, drunken egomaniac... and he still ends up being quite a sympathetic character! Whether he's acting or not, I don't care, because he steals every scene he's in. WILLIAM SHATNER, people! Certainly not something you'd expect to see everyday.

DROOL FACTOR: Rafer Weigel and Eric McCormack. Neither are exactly hunks of burnin' love. McCormack (better known as Will from TV's Will and Grace) fares better for me, however. An audience member ruined my perception of Weigel when she (quite loudly) noted his remarkable resemblance to Kato Kaelin at the beginning of the film.

GROSS-OUT FACTOR: Shakespearean purists might want to vomit after getting a taste of Shatner's one-man-musical rendition of Julius Caesar.

STRONG CHICK FACTOR: Altman and Burnett know their sci-fi, but I'm not sure how well they really comprehend women. Claire is introduced in a comic book store and she is equal parts cool, smart and geeky. Unfortunately, her credibility disappears when she comes crawling back to an unapologetic Rob at the end of the film, when it should really be the other way around! And I'm not just saying that just to put in some arbitrary feminist touch onto this review. My valid reasoning: the guy really is a loser because he doesn't learn from any of his mistakes!

-- Julie Ng

Free Enterprise is still playing in some theaters, but is also now available on video and DVD. The DVD contains a heap of extras -- audio commentary, making-of featurette, music videos, deleted scenes and even a glossary of weird in-joke references.

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