"I Fall To Pieces"
Air Date: October 26, 1999

I think I'm detecting a pattern here. Glenn Quinn and psychotic doctors. Unfortunately it's not the best pattern to notice. I'd rather notice a pattern like, say, Glenn Quinn and me.

But I should stop foolin' around, right? Because, of course, this episode of Angel dealt with a pretty serious issue, that being psychotic stalkers. And I think I've caught onto the moral, too (rather proud of myself for that). I should've learned it as a kid, actually, because my mom told me this one all the time:

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Now that we've handled starlet-munching vampires and body-stealing large wormy sex-fiend things, it's time to move on to a more human bad guy. Sort of. "I Fall To Pieces" gives us another damsel in distress -- a brunette, finally, after a parade of blondes that I feared would never end -- and a new brand of weirdo. Yes, ladies and gents, the doctor is in...sane! No, wait, that's Dr Giggles. Same difference. Anyway, what we've got here is a neurosurgeon with a special talent for psychic surgery. He fixates on one of his patients, and -- no, this isn't some kind of porno reference -- terrorizes her with body parts. His free-floating, handily detachable eyeball watches her every move. And this is where that moral comes in again... having your eyeball just floating around cannot be healthy! Somebody could mistake it for a very large bug... or a meatball! It could be devoured by rabid dingoes!

Okay, maybe there's no rabid dingoes in Los Angeles. But I'm just sayin'... that can't be safe.

Oh, sure, sometimes the doc shows up as an entire, intact person and does his whole creepy "but you do love me and we're going to get married" act. But mostly he sends his limbs and eyes on errands. It's the stalking of the next century... this is how it'll be done when people are too lazy to get out of their armchairs and lurk in the bushes like any self-respecting, proper stalker would.

So. Damsel in distress. She decides to call Angel, who naturally looks into the whole scene and figures out what the good (errr... bad) doctor is. Doctor defeated, damsel rescued, and Angel's finally got a check from a real client to pay his bills.

Despite the fact that it sounds like a ridiculous blend of Dr Giggles and Idle Hands with just a dash of Fatal Attraction thrown in for flavor, "I Fall To Pieces" was actually surprisingly good. The girl-in-trouble of the week was played well, and once again Kate is growing on me, no matter how much I don't want her to. Angel displays some nice improv skills and even manages to speak to people. And of course there's the ever-present Doyle/Cordelia chemistry that's got me drooling on the floor like a big stupid dog.

Unfortunately there were some big problems, too. I was okay with the guy-who-can-detach-limbs-at-will idea, but the final showdown was a bit much, what with the flying teeth and self-propelling hands. The crew still doesn't have the hang of the lighting on this show; I remember the pre-premiere press saying that Angel would be a darker show than Buffy. I guess they were speaking only in the figurative sense, because Angel seems to be spending a lot of time in faint sunlight without combustion or even a little smoldering. What ever happened to the good old days, when heavy velvet curtains for vamps weren't just stylish, but functional as well?

Some of the performances were less than stellar, too; the bloke filling the doctor's shoes was passable enough, but the new-age psychic-healing guru/hermit made me want to beat his head in just so he'd shut up and stop with the twitching. The victim stands up to her stalker with some psychobabble that we've already heard, and it just sounds weird coming from her mouth. There are also some elements that remind me of Buffy episodes (namely "Surprise" and "Innocence", what with the body parts in boxes), but I don't know if I'd call that a bad thing.

Of course, I don't consider much about the episode to be a bad thing. Despite its flaws, it was entertaining... even if I expected Devon Sawa to suddenly appear and start killing people with his dismembered hand, too. Do they have support groups for that?

Angel can be seen Tuesdays at 9pm EST on The WB.

-- Lisa Kohles

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