From Whence They Came
'Cause the original isn't always the best.
      by Rachel Hyland

So, have you heard about this new Harry Potter movie, at all? About the Tomb Raider movie, or the impending Dracula 2000 menace to society? Scary to think about, aren't they? After all, the first is being directed by the guy who massacred Isaac Asimov's The Bicentennial Man; the second co-stars Jon Voight, the man who played Noah in the TV adaptation that saw his Ark attacked by pirates; and the third is not only a rehash of the ol' big-bad-vamp tale, but it has the name Wes Craven in the title -- and he's been rehashing his own movies for years.

But take heart, o ye of justifiably little faith. All is not as dark as it may seem. Hard as it may be to believe, the latest evolution of an existing tale can actually be a good thing... and often, a better thing. And occasionally -- just occasionally -- the best thing on TV.

Please observe...

Babylon 5

Babylon 5 -- the last best hope, etc., etc.

History: Babylon 5 (TV)

J. Michael Straczynski really started something when he created this star-spanning drama about a neutral diplomatic space station set up to help the members of the galaxy's races learn to get along in the big dark. His characters were compelling, the acting was superlative, and the sets, costumes, and other production values were second to none. Great effects, imaginative plots and the requisite sexual tension all combined to make Babylon 5 an addictive, now much-missed, series. And, please, where else are you ever likely to see that many former stars of other sci-fi shows gathered together in harmony? (Conventions notwithstanding.)

The Present: Babylon 5: Out of the Darkness: Legions of Fire Books I, II and III (Books)

Peter David wrote this!

First of all, this series was written by the incomparable Peter David, about whom never was heard a disappointed word, and so it gets automatic bonus points for that. It also provides a longed-for conclusion to the saga of the Centari -- one of B5's most intriguing alien races -- and to the long reign of the anti-heroic Londo Molari. And, hey, Peter David is funny, man.

The Best? Well, this is hardly fair. Pitting a five-year-planned, trail blazing, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning TV series against what basically amounts to fan fiction is just like David and Goliath all over again. And, once again, David comes out on top in the Celebrity Death Match, taking out Goliath -- or, in this case, Babylon 5 -- not with a bang but with a whimper. It is not the strength of David's series that gives it power over and above its progenitor; rather, it is the weakness of the show itself that lends it strength. Babylon 5 gave us little or no closure. This trilogy -- among other novels -- does. As the force that created the books, Babylon 5 is ultimately superior, but in the end it is the story that actually has an end that allows us to move on. Plus... funny.

Read an interview with J. Michael Straczynski here! Also check out our interview with Jerry Doyle (Michael Garibaldi), and a review of Babylon 5: Crusade.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Mmmm. Luke Perry.

History: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Movie)

So, like, Buffy is a cheerleader. A blonde, buxom cheerleader whose only immediate ambitions, she tells us, are to grow up, go to Europe and marry Christian Slater (back when he was Christian Slater, and not Inmate #1876442.) Turns out that she's gonna have to put those plans on hold, however (well, except for the growing up part, which she does -- fast), when she discovers that she's the Vampire Slayer, a re-incarnated super-chick with the uncanny ability to kick, punch and flip undead ass. For its time, it was a revelation: quirky and cute and camp and oftentimes hilarious... and with a Luke Perry flavor, too!

Read the 11th Hour review here!

The Present: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)

Mmmm. David Boreanaz and Nicholas Brendon.

So, like, Buffy was a cheerleader, but then she discovered she was the Slayer and burned down a gym full of vampires, so she got kind of expelled (and, evidently, put back a couple of grades.) Along with her fellow evil-fighters -- whose numbers, as ever, vary depending on which of them is evil at any given time -- Buffy is currently quipping her way through college, still maintaining the trademark angsty style and flair for heartbreak that we have all come to know and want to hit her around the head about. The vampire slaying supporting line-up includes such great characters as witchy Willow, romantic Riley, annoying Anya, sinful Spike and... well, I can't think of an appropriate adjective starting with X, which kind of ruins my whole alliteration thing, but also there is Xander. (Can we make xanderific a word?) All in all, a damn fine show... especially when no one is literally getting damned.

The Best? It's a good time to be alive. Not only do we get twenty-one brand spankin' new episodes of Buffy each year, but now we get Angel, as well. Angel, the vampire, and Buffy, the vampire slayer, had to repress the love that dare not speak its name two years ago -- so that there could be a spin-off series -- and though I remain convinced that creator Joss Whedon just really, really hates me, I have learned to forgive. Now Buffy spends her days in Sunnydale studying hard college-y stuff, and her nights killing vampires, goblins and demons (shouldn't that be Buffy the Everything Slayer?), and Angel spends his days appearing to walk in direct sunlight, and his nights saving souls by killing vampires, goblins and demons (see, they're made for each other!) Buffy is notable for itself as well as for spawning Angel, while the original Buffy movie, though fun, is only really notable for the resulting brilliance. Still. Luke Perry. Makes it a tough call.

Read the latest reviews of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel here!

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys

The Glory of Hera?

History: The Myth of Hercules (Myth)

Oooh, that Hercules was a naughty little half-god. Conceived when his mother was raped by big Daddy king-of-the-gods Zeus, Hercules (or Herakles, as the Greeks knew him) grew to be a strong and powerful young man, an arrogant and conceited young man who raped, pillaged and murdered his way across the continent. He beat his male lovers, he cheated on his wives, he betrayed his comrades, performed human sacrifice and killed people just 'cause he didn't like 'em: he was pretty much a terror of immense proportions. Sure, he was good with the impossible labors, and even possessed a relatively sophisticated intelligence which allowed him to complete these tasks through the power of lateral thinking, but the man killed his own children, for Hestia's sake! And, sure, he said that it was 'cause Hera drove him mad, but I just don't think that would hold up in court. Well, you know, depending on who his attorney was.

The Present: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (TV)

What all the fashionable heroes are wearing.

This Hercules is cut from a very different cloth. This Hercules didn't kill his first wife and their kids. This Hercules didn't leave his Argonaut-y mates high and dry when his boy lover went missing. This Hercules apparently invented the Olympics, and repeatedly saved the world, and did only good on the gods' green earth. His dad is Anthony Quinn. He's all good and stuff. Not just heroic -- as in, a doer of heroic-type things -- but a bona fide hero, the man that the myth made legend. Some extremely questionable research means that Herc became whatever the writers wished of him... which was usually as topless as humanly -- or half-humanly -- possible. Wrapping up production last year, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys can still be seen in syndication. Isn't that exciting?

The Best? Herc was way more intimidating when no one was calling him Herc, granted, but the shiny and new version of the son of Zeus sure beats the master copy. The happy wanderer, righting-the-wrongs-of-the-oppressed, converting-Xena-to-the-good-deed-club Hercules is far preferable to the old -- the ancient -- bloodlust-y, rape-y, pillage-y, hate-the-world-y Hercules of musty old text books in the little-frequented Classical section of the National Library. Who cares that it doesn't come close to accurately reflecting the heritage of the Hellenic people and those they deemed to hold up in worship? I mean, their chief god used to get his jollies by turning unwilling girls into animals and then having some wicked godly way. Ancient history is just icky.

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