Growing Up Trekkie
In 1996, Gabriel Koerner's geekdom was caught on tape. Now he tells his side of the story.
      by Gabriel C. Koerner

Editor's note: About a year and a half ago, I reviewed the documentary Trekkies for this magazine. My review contained the following line: "The most notable [Trekkie], however, is Gabriel Koerner, a fourteen-year-old whose tremendous talent (the Star Trek special effects he creates on his computer rival Hollywood standards) is equaled only by his social ineptitude. As Gabriel fumes over the stripes on his uniform being too thick, nitpicks about his enormous collection of action figures, or screams at a friend of his who calls during the interview, the film takes on a level of knowing absurdity, and you can't help wonder what exactly it is about this series that provokes such an intense reaction."

Recovering Trekkie Gabriel Koerner

Well, now we know. In the following article, Gabriel, now eighteen and a successful employee of the gaming company 3DO, relays his tale of geek struggle and Star Trek devotion, in his own words. This sometimes dark side of fandom is a bit off the 11th Hour beaten path, but for all who have wondered about the truth behind that -- or any genre-fan related -- documentary, here's the story behind the stereotype.

Four years ago, thanks to good timing and great fortune, I was granted the opportunity to take part in the documentary, Trekkies.

In the years that have followed its release, I have enjoyed my share of praise and brushed off my share of malign.

Representing the world of adolescent fandom on the screen was a difficult thing to do, given the hypercritical nature of many Star Trek fans. To this day, whenever I've seen a comment chastising my role in the film, I've seen speculation about everything ranging from my "snotty suburban upbringing" to questions about my sexuality. Such things are amusing to read when passing the time at my new home in Woodland Hills, California.

I'm writing this article because, to me, Star Trek fans, when they place their interest in the show in its proper context, are very diverse, very creative and intelligent individuals. They are hard to stereotype because in reality, the stereotype we see so prominently displayed in pop culture spoofs like Saturday Night Live represents the merest fraction of the fringes of Star Trek fandom. I'd also like to shed a little light on my own background, and indulge in the tale of how Trekkies came to be, and how I became part of it.

Let me tell you a little about myself, first. Prior speculation I've seen about my "snotty suburban upbringing" couldn't be further off base. I'm going to say some things that, quite frankly, you won't find in Trekkies. They are very personal things that I was not inclined to discuss when the film was being shot. However, I feel the time has come to reconcile with these things and tell those who are interested to hear the real story of why Star Trek was such an important childhood refuge for me.

I was born in the summer of 1982 in Connecticut to two completely incompatible human beings whose only common bond was that they were the black sheep of their respective families.

My mother was born to a middle class family of five girls, four of which married and began successful careers. My mother never had those opportunities. She has difficulty coping with people, and is very socially sheltered.

My father was born to a middle-class family of three, two of which married and became very wealthy. My father chose to pursue his creative passion for music. Unfortunately, being all too indulgent in the guiltier pleasures in life and lacking the business sense of his brother, his dreams of musical success have become nothing more than bitterness, alcoholism, constant eviction notices, and smoker's lungs that will no doubt kill him in a few short years.

Okay, so maybe he hasn't entirely recovered yet: Koerner with girlfriend Allison.

I came as the result of a short, strange, unfaithful, and quite frankly really screwed up brief relationship between my parents. Their remaining in an even communicative state was purely for the benefit of raising me, and my father has admitted on many occasions that were I to have been born a girl, he would've packed up and hit the road with his band.

The legal arrangement was that I would spend the week with my mother in upstate Connecticut and spend the weekend with my father in the southern end of the state. Back during those more amicable days I looked forward to my weekends very much.

As I hit the age of five in 1987, I began to develop an interest in the creative arts. I had just begun school, but the children there weren't particularly receptive to me, so I began to look for other places of refuge. At that age, I developed a love for oil painting, inspired by Bob Ross, the charismatic, curly haired painter from PBS who sadly passed away in 1995. I actually still have old tapes of me doing instructional oil painting videos at six years old! My father was very gracious in indulging my childhood hobbies.

It was also around this time I discovered Star Trek. I did not get along well with the children in school, so I began to look elsewhere. It was then that I discovered the original Star Trek in syndication. The exploits of Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the rest touched me on a level that I will never forget. Corny as it sounds, the Roddenberry vision of utopia and togetherness as conveyed by Star Trek is something I came to cherish. It represented a better place to me, one that I aspired to live in.

Next Page >