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Letters
Quote of the Month: "You do know that asking a cheekbones fan to choose between the similarly named James Marsden and James Marsters is like Chris Carter killing the The X-Files now out of some long-time-coming artistic integrity? Virtually impossible."
-- Kat
We get a deluge of strange mail here at The 11th Hour (why, oh why, do you people keep writing to us about MTV's Fear?), but few things are more amusing than mass e-mails from corporate drones. Normally, we read, laugh, and discard, but this month has brought such unprecedented oddness that we figured we'd share a couple. Behold:
"I represent a company called Twirlix Internet Technologies. I was looking at your site and noticing that you had a long link list, and no search function on your site. I think the company I work for could help your site become a more competitive portal and leading information source."
With well-researched guidance like that, how could we go wrong? Then there's:
"Hi. My name is Nadia Amanda Alterio-Lemmon. My husband and I, Los Angeles celebrity nutritionist, author and nephew to actor Jack Lemmon, Don Lemmon have recently moved to Las Vegas together. He has an entertaining and informative web site at http://www.donlemmon.com and we would like to exchange links with your site. You'll see that we offer a WHOLE lot more than just nutritional guidance in our links. Have a look at our New Links, Entertainment, Music, Humor, Models, Sports and Media Sections at http://www.donlemmon.com/links.html So, what do you say?"
Well, we would tell you, but you'd have to make us a swankier offer than that, much like this wise soul did below:
"I'd like to discuss your advertising strategy with a view to maximising your total revenue. We are in a position to potentially buy out 100% of your unsold inventory, turning wasted remnant space into a valuable commodity. We represent a range of clients from Dell, Vodafone to Royal Bank of Scotland, British Gas, Dot Music, Football365 these are just a few of our clients from a List of 50."
Wow! 100% of our unsold inventory! If only we had inventory. Oh well. What we do have are letters from real people and their thoughts about last issue:
Breakin' the Law
I've been reading "The 11th Hour" now for the past six or seven months and I just want to thank you for such an intelligent, well-written magazine dedicated to genre
entertainment, art, and literature. I've enjoyed your clever insights into pop culture and have taken many of your book recommendations. As a 39-year old lawyer working
in the stuffy ivory tower of an appellate court system, I don't have many friends I can banter with about Buffy, The X-Files, Roswell, The Matrix, or Star Wars, so your writing is especially welcome.
-- Mary Hines
Exorcist Twist
I have to admit I really enjoyed this article ("Repossessed") because of the "self-indulgent second-person article nit-picking the junket", not in spite of it. Twenty years after the movie I really don't need to know what the actors were thinking. It was far more enjoyable sympathizing with your pain as you listen to Laptop Boy and the Interrupter (weren't they two of Batman's lesser-known villains!). Please keep up the good work, and I'll keep coming back for more!
-- Scott Smith
Legendary Rip-Off
Firstly, your magazine totally rocks. Utterly wonderful. Secondly, I am an Australian living in the US, and the weekend before I left Australia I watched a movie called "Cut". It was made in 1999 and starred Molly Ringwald and some Australian actors. It was made in Melbourne, Australia. Urban Legends is exactly the same movie. Right down to the lesbian character. I am constantly amazed at how nobody sues Hollywood for plagiarism. Cut is a great movie, despite its slasher elements.
-- Fionnuala Browne
Roswell! Roswell!
The statement in which my letter is titled is reffering to the author of the review on "Skin and Bones". I can't see how someone an be so harsh and cruel about people that they have never met. All the actors are trying to make a show that connects with someone. It doesn't have to connect to you though so cut it some slack. I bet you aren't the best looking person in the world and neither am I (compared to Majandra Delifino or Katherine Heigl but in everyday life I do just fine) so how can you be so cruel. God, old people no longer see the good in shows, they always watch the bad ones. Oh, that's why Star Trek got ratings! A Roswell fan and a 11th Hour Anti-Fan,
-- Kristina
Linda responds: I don't think asking any show that calls itself genre and features several female characters to be both well written and well acted is a harsh, cruel, or even an unrealistic demand, Kristina. Since Roswell has yet to prove itself to be more than a thinly-veiled teen-soap I tend to concentrate on what the show itself seems to promote, the looks and hairdos of the cast. I certainly can't focus on its kick-ass chicks since it doesn't have any. And do I even need to go into the intellect of all of the characters?
As for the Star Trek crack, you do realize that both Jonathan Frakes (producer) and Ron Moore (producer/writer) worked on various Trek projects, right? The logic behind your comment -- much like the appeal of Roswell -- escapes me.
Then why do I watch, you ask? Because I was promised more sci-fi and less brain-dead cow-eyed instances this year. Alas...
The Year in Reviews
Hello out there, my new hero(ine?)s, specifically Lisa Kincaid! I have spent the last two weeks wallowing in the last part of The 11th Hour's Buffy episode guide. Toward the end, I noticed (with glee) that you were providing links to the reviews of the Buffy and Angel episodes. And now I want MORE! I've tried to find an archive of Lisa's reviews -- which are side-splittingly funny and never fail to leave out the really important facts (what percentage of Spike's body we get to see, for example) while also providing insightful commentary on the acting, directing, and writing -- but have had no luck. Is there a lucky spot on the web where they are all gathered together?
While I have your attention, let me just say that you people run a really neat web site. It's informative, well-designed, and has tons of yummy pics. Thanks for all the hours of entertainment.
-- Cynthia Douglas
Lisa responds: Dammit, I've failed you. You weren't meant to wallow, but rather to wade calmly, be submerged, and perhaps pretend to drown so that Lifeguard Spike could jump in and save you.... I'm sorry, where was I? I got sidetracked by a Spike-in-swim-trunks visual.
This letter is in regards to a show that you think is sucky: Lexx. I don't blame you for feeling that it is sucky. Really, I don't. The reason I don't blame you for feeling that Lexx is sucky is because, well, it sucked. And it sucked with a passion...
For the first two seasons of Lexx, the only reason certain people watched it was because the only thing it had "going" for it was the sex. Now, for the `scapers that don't like Lexx, the sex is the only thing that detracts from it, and the show has changed a LOT. Think of it as having changed like this: Take that one episode, picture it in your mind if doing so doesn't cause brain damage, and think "I wonder what this show would be like if the producers watched Farscape?"
And now you know what the show is like now, in its third season. I'm not saying that this show is perfect, it still has Too Much Sexx, but give it another chance when they start airing new eps in January.
-- Christina Batouli
Linda responds: Christina, as much as I love our readers, if I had to watch another episode of Lexx I might just have to stab myself in the eyes with a spork afterwards. And while the Roswell fans would be happy, it would impede my already marginal editing skills and then Sarah and Lisa would kick my ass. Sorry!
I was just reading Linda Najera's review of "A Clockwork Nebari" and I generally enjoyed it -- especially the description of Chiana as a kick-ass chick (Yeah, I know I'm behind the times, but hey.)
However, I was rather annoyed when she compared the Nebari to the religious right. Speaking as a sci-fi loving, fanfic-writing conservative Christian, this offended me. I realize Christians get bad press, but it'd be nice if y'all wouldn't accept it so blindly; while there are always extremists in any movement, bigotry is so not the rule in Christianity -- I've been involved in it all my life, and I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed by now if I were being secretly ordered to harass and injure people. I do not "practice hatred" and I resent being told that I do. I admit there are practices and "lifestyle choices" that I disapprove of (kind of the way Linda seems to feel about the religious right), but that does not mean I hate anyone, unless the definition of hate has been new-speaked out of all recognition.
So I thought I'd write, and try to inject a gram of clarity... I'm open for debate or discussion if anyone's interested. Looks like a great website overall -- keep up the good work!
-- Pam Jernigan
Linda responds: Pam, you'll probably be surprised to learn that I consider myself a Christian and that I do know that not all Christians belong to the Religious Right, but what I was taught was that a real Christian did not force their beliefs on others. The way to conversion is by action, not words and, in my opinion, not by legislation either. The Religious Right seeks to mandate that their values be put into law (prayer in schools, a ban on gay marriages, making abortion illegal, etc., etc., etc.). In forcing their morals on others they are in fact practicing hatred and bigotry and judging those who are different from themselves as being wrong to the point of requiring punishment by the government.
I really like your reviews of The Invisible Man. You do a great job of touching all the bases in each episode you've reviewed and I look forward to reading further reviews.
-- John Raikes
Linda responds: I really like letters like yours, John. Thanks for the kind words.
Thanks to everyone who wrote in; although we can't publish every letter we do read all of them and greatly appreciate your input. Responses to this issue can be sent to letters@the11thhour.com.
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