Bedazzled
Devil may care -- but not about script, character development, plot, etc...

"Please send back-up... I think Susan Sarandon's trying to kill me."

So let's say it's a gray, drizzly day -- a Sunday, of course -- and you're sitting at home, trying to convince yourself that you're not really watching the Real World marathon if you're reading the TV Guide at the same time. Eventually the illusion just fades, and so you begin to flip mindlessly through the channels, your eyes finally settling on, oh, let's say, USA. An announcer informs you you've honed in on some ongoing movie marathon, a Sunday Satanic Comedy Special, perhaps, and after you watch the credits on Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey go down, this movie comes on.

At first, it's kind of funny, and you find yourself thinking back to the summer of 2000, where you saw the trailer for this flick at Comic Con and just laughed your ass off. Man, why didn't I see this in theaters when it came out, you wonder now. A half hour later, you know. It's Brendan Fraser -- and he's speaking Spanish! It's Brendan Fraser -- and he's gay! It's Brendan Fraser -- and he's sweating profusely! And look, there's Hugh Grant's ex-girlfriend, and hey, that scene didn't really make any sense, and, hmmm, you really haven't laughed much in the last hour or so, and -- oh man, they're airing Real World San Francisco for the final time? You grab the remote. Good thing you didn't have to pay for that Bedazzled shit, although it was kinda fun while it lasted.

"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know?" "Dude, you're 35!"

The above scenario, my friends, is how Bedazzled is meant to be seen. Not good, not bad, but just sort of there, Bedazzled is a good way to kill two hours if all other earthly distractions have failed you. It's mindless, forgettable tripe -- but occasionally funny, mindless, forgettable tripe, carried out by a cast far better than the material deserves. Those of you who've seen the trailer know what I'm talking about, because you've already seen every clever scene the movie has to offer.

A loose remake of the late 1960s Dudley Moore/Peter Cooke classic, Bedazzled centers on Elliot, a socially inept computer lackey who lusts after his unattainable co-worker, Beth. After a series of over-exaggerated, none-too-original mishaps, Elliot is approached by The Devil, played by the multi-costumed Elizabeth Hurley. In exchange for his immortal soul, Hurley will grant Elliot seven wishes, one of which will hopefully lead to true love. Of course, it's quite obvious what happens from here -- this ain't no Faust, but has there ever been a movie in which these wish-fulfillment scenarios work out? For those lacking a flair for the obvious: Elliot wishes for wealth and power; he becomes a Columbian druglord. He wishes to be sensitive and romantic; he becomes a Birkenstock-clad, sunset-gazing wuss. And so on. And so on. Seven. Freakin'. Times.

This is your brain. This is your brain on Antonio Banderas.

To be fair, Fraser is really great in this movie; showing an utter lack of restraint, he's funny and imaginative in each mini-performance, and carries the movie through to the end. The same cannot be said for the beautiful Hurley, who makes up in keen fashion sense what she lacks in everything else -- range, delivery, and talent, to name a few. The main problems, however, are the direction and script, which make slow, predictable fare out of scenarios that could have birthed uncensored creativity. I would have loved to see Bedazzled in the hands of someone like Austin Powers' Jay Roach (the one man, seemingly, with the ability to coax a performance out of the mannequin-like Hurley), who would allow the film to flow a little freer and move a little faster. As for now, it's strictly made-for-cable fare.

DROOL FACTOR: If I had seven wishes, Brendan Fraser would probably appear in one of them, and definitely not in a PG-13 rated movie either. My crush on Fraser (see Gods and Monsters people! Gods and Monsters! Or, um, George of the Jungle) has long been mocked, and certain scenes in this movie let me understand why. But check out that suave incarnation, baby. Yum.

GROSS-OUT FACTOR: Just the same old post-There's Something About Mary bullshit -- an excess of sweat, a mustache being ripped off Fraser's face, Hurley doing her best Britney Spears impression, etc.

STRONG CHICK FACTOR: Not even a female devil can be a great character in the crap that is the year 2000. Hurley is sexy and fun, but completely one-note, giving the performance of a walk-in closet's life.

-- Sarah Kendzior

Bedazzled is currently playing.

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