Dark Angel
"C.R.E.A.M"

Airdate: October 31, 2000

"Will you help me?" pleas a forlorn woman, in a video message to Logan. Struck with indecision, he rewinds and plays this line over and over. (Help me Obi-Wan, you're my only hope!) As the TV viewers narrow their eyebrows, wondering who this woman is, in comes Max, peering over his shoulder. "Still churning over how to handle the daughter of that famous, crusading, disappeared journalist guy?" she asks, as though real human beings provide ever that much exposition in a single sentence. Never let it be said that Dark Angel doesn't cut right to the chase.

The disappeared man in question is Nathan Herrero, a journalist who was once notorious for uncovering the truths about corrupt politicians. When he was last seen, he was public enemy #1 to Alan Lance, a murderous police officer who is currently running for the position of Seattle's police commissioner. Most believed him to be dead because he was a man who knew too much. Herrero's exploits were the inspiration for Eyes Only. Not only was he Logan's mentor, but also the estranged father of Elina -- the woman in Logan's video. She wants to know what really happened to her father.

Max feels for Elina's need for questions answered and a little closure in her life. Through an interesting, but jarring flashback, we also discover that poor Max has never celebrated a birthday, because she doesn't even know what day she was born. This provides our only glimpse of Lydecker in the entire episode (this is a good thing). The rest is Max in her element -- breaking into buildings to get Logan the info he needs and making gender-related jokes with the people whose asses she's kicking at the time. And unfortunately, as I had warily anticipated, Max's super powerful eyesight and hearing, which she uses to steal a file from a police station, are accompanied by ominous, low-frequency humming for extra effect, a la The Six Million Dollar Man. Although I got a good laugh out of them, really guys... we get it, already!

Meanwhile, in another corrupt part of town, that moron Sketchy is making some extra cash as a bike courier for the Russian mob. He accidentally loses a package of $15,000 in cash and if he doesn't come up with the money in 36 hours, bye-bye Sketchy. That would have been fine with me, actually. That guy is good for nothing. Not even for comic relief. But Original Cindy and Max of course, come to his rescue. Posing as dumb, ditzy strippers, they go to the Odessa Social Club, a casino run by the Russian mafia, and clean up using good looks and Max's sensory skills at the roulette table. The amount of T&A, bare thighs and references to being naked boggles the mind. The producers are continuing to neutralize and belittle Max's tough female image. I wonder if Alba sees what they're doing to her. We might as well be watching V.I.P. or Baywatch.

After all the light, raunchy foreplay with Russian mobsters, I must admit that I didn't see the outcome of Elina and her father's reunion coming. The tone of the episode just takes a complete 180 degree turn. It unfortunately loses some of its power and shock value because of Michael Weatherly's stoic, non-reaction to the death of his mentor. Alba's performance is stronger (but don't call the Academy yet). Her disbelief that someone could kill their father for money and her vigilante punishment towards Elina is just. Original Cindy reveals what episode's title, "C.R.E.A.M", stands for: Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Too bad the point is overshadowed by all the butt-wiggling and tit-jiggling. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this show.

-- Julie Ng

Dark Angel airs at 9pm EST/8pm MNT, Tuesdays on Fox.

We welcome your comments on The 11th Hour and this review. Please send letters to: letters@the11thhour.com

< Previous Review