Freakylinks
"Project: Three Thirteen"

Airdate: October 13, 2000

Wow, Freakylinks totally kicked ass last night!

Hey, stop that! Why are you laughing?

Oh. Right.

Destined to be discussed in those hushed, excited tones usually reserved for your secret Pokemon obsession -- not that I have a secret Pokemon obsession... at least not since Brock left, anyway -- Freakylinks proved itself to be far from the embarrassment most forecasted with its second episode, "Subject: Three Thirteen". As is fitting in the genre world, the ratings went down. As is fitting for a Fox Friday night horror series called Freakylinks, the ratings really weren't so hot to begin with. But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to tell you watch the damn thing while it lasts. Because when Freakylinks is good, it's very, very good, even if the title is horrid.

Smart, scary, suspenseful and wonderfully acted, "Subject: Three Thirteen" rules on any number of levels, but the main force behind this sudden burst of genre excellence is writer Michael Perry. Perry is best known among horror fans for the series American Gothic and the Millennium episode "The Mikado", generally considered to be one of that series' finest moments; with "Subject: Three Thirteen", he proves he's still got the goods. Genre fans haven't had a truly scary show in quite some time; The X-Files's lapse into unintentional comedy has been long documented, and while often suspenseful, Buffy and Angel aren't exactly known for bringing on the fright. (Well, except for that whole "Hush" thing. That was scary.) With an episode evoking 1013's glory days, Freakylinks fills a much-needed niche and provides one of the most satisfying hours of genre TV in a long while.

The show places Our Hero, Ethan Embry (known in TV-land as Derek Barnes) in the midst of two seemingly disparate storylines -- a pregnant woman possessed by an unworldly force, and a teenage runaway who disappeared one year prior. The pregnant woman and her boyfriend turn to Barnes, of Freakylinks.com, in despair, and he, of course, has no idea what to do. This is one of the greatest elements of Freakylinks -- for the first time in recent years, we've got a hero lacking in educational background and high-tech resources (unlike Mulder and Scully), superpowers (Buffy and Angel), or the luxury of a fantastical world (the protagonists of Star Trek, Farscape, or any alien-based sci-fi series). Derek Barnes is kind of a schlub. He sits and plays with his website all day, checking out hot girls from the window. He eats cold pizza for breakfast after waking up in the middle of the afternoon. You can't help but kinda dig this guy.

Especially since he's so damn sweet. "Subject: Three Thirteen" has a surprising emotional resonance, and Derek's status as relatively normal outsider only makes the situation at hand more terrifying. He's helping these people -- people who, it turns out, lead to gore and possession and dead people -- not because it's his job or his destiny, but out of genuine concern. He's not overly heroic, but he is believably admirable. As the intertwining storylines unravel in a clever, creepy way, it is Derek that holds them together, and brings the viewers in with him.

Well, one viewer, anyway. But it's okay, people. It's okay to watch Freakylinks. For now, at least, it's a good series, with one truly great episode. And Ethan Embry... well, Ethan Embry's kind of cute.

And I won't tell anyone if you don't.

-- Sarah Kendzior

Freakylinks airs at 9pm EST/8pm MNT, Fridays on Fox.

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