Roswell
"Ask Not"

Airdate: October 9, 2000

Ask not what your country can do for you,
but what you can do for your country.
-- not Max Evans, aka Monotone

The UFO center is suddenly taken over by a paranoid British guy, Kyle Valenti comes home from football camp a Buddhist and starts to get close to Tess (Call John Edwards, dude, `cause I'm a friggin' psychic), the new Crashdown waitress is revealed to be a "Skin" (I told you so), and that Congresswoman Whitaker chick is a total bitch.

Not pretty, but a much more interesting character than the rest.

Comparing the character of Max Evans (aka The Most Boring Teenager Ever To Stink Up Your Television) to the most charismatic U.S. president of the 20th Century smacks of hubris beyond existing technology's ability to measure. Being forced to stare into those deep, dark, vacuous eyes for another hour is simply more proof that Max isn't a leader. He's a whiner. And that's during a particularly emotional episode for him.

All throughout the episode we see Max struggle with not only his appointed role of leader, but also with the problem of how to schmooze Liz back into his life. While studying the Cuban Missile Crisis in history/social studies/government (or whatever that class was supposed to be), he finds himself drawn to the image of President John F. Kennedy. He wonders how Kennedy dealt with having to make such a life and death decision, a decision that could plunge the world into another war and lead to the deaths of millions. The two, he thinks, have something in common.

Uh, no.

Of course his two followers are no better. Yeah, yeah, I know there are three, but when push comes to shove and the teen-aliens go to kick some supposedly intergalactic butt, they don't take Tess with them. Which is kinda dumb, cause if you're planning a face-off with a powerful archenemy don't you want all the backup you can get? But back to the other two. Michael and Isabel prove themselves to be masters of the art of passive-aggressiveness. Michael keeps telling him to lead, but openly disagrees with everything he says. Isabel on the other hand seems content to do whatever Max says. As long as it doesn't cut into her busy dating schedule that is. One minute they're ordering Max to make a decision, to be a leader, and the next they're ignoring him completely. It's no wonder his two IQ points are confused.

Buddhist, schmuddhist. The real question is, "Will he take his shirt off this season?"

What's amusing though is that in accordance with the closeness they developed over the summer, Max's new confidant is Maria. Talk about the blond leading the boring! Faced with Max's crisis of confidence, Maria, of course, is no help, but then again did anyone expect her to be? I can't be too harsh on Maria, though, as no one else in Roswell seems to be made of any sterner stuff.

Except maybe Sheriff Valenti. I like him much better as a good guy than a bad guy. While the whole second generation obsession thing seemed lame and contrived early last season, the idea of a simple, honest man doing his best to combat the darker forces of his own government is pretty cool. Having him bend the letter of the law he has sworn to uphold and instead concentrate on the intent of the law, that is, to keep private citizens safe from even those who would harm them, makes him a much more complex character giving actor William Sadler a chance to really shine.

As to Liz working for Congresswoman Whitaker... Well, you know what they say: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. In that vein, Liz having access to all of the Congresswoman's papers is pretty smart. The only problem is that Liz and company aren't usually that smart. For example, even if that Courtney chick weren't a "Skin", all of the Roswell Brain Trust's conversations with her in close proximity would have clued the other waitress in to half of them not being from around thereabouts. From now on I'm with Isabel when she rags on Max for letting their secret out by telling Blabbermouth Liz who told Blabbermouth Maria and then Blabbermouth Alex. And if they can't keep their mouths shut in front of Courtney, what makes them think they can be all sly in front of Whitaker?

But in accordance with the new story-driven series, again, things actually happened on the show.

Stuff That Actually Happened

- Tess went to live with Kyle and the Sheriff (thereby cementing the fourth alien/human coupling)
- Whitaker suckers a gullible Liz into revealing the name/identity of the fourth alien
- The audience learns that Courtney is vile, not just because she's a "Skin", but because she doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom (Eww!)

Despite his abduction delusions and paranoia, I hope we get to see more of the British guy. He's not cute, but he's interesting.

-- Linda M. Najera

Roswell airs Monday nights at 9pm EST on The WB.

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