Freeway
I am thankful for ass kickings and gore.

You know how when you have HBO, they show one new movie over and over and during the rest of the day you get weird filler crap? Well, Freeway was weird filler crap that I just happened to catch during a period of intense slack. It was originally released to HBO and then on limited release to theaters. We never get anything cool here so I never saw it in a theater, but it's gone on to become somewhat of a cult movie. Any movie that blows Brooke Shields' brains all over a wall is deserving of cult status. Or possibly an Oscar.

The deal with this movie is it's a retelling of the Little Red Riding Hood story if the teller was strung out on acid and meth. Vanessa (Reese Witherspoon) is the Red in question. When her folks are picked up for drug possession again, she escapes the youth authorities to go find her grandma and live with her. (The stepdad is played by the guy from The Pretender and he has never looked skankier. I swear, I didn't recognize him at first.) Anyway, she gets picked up on the highway by a Mr. Wolverton (Kiefer Sutherland) and he turns out to be a nasty piece of work. He's this serial killer guy, but she overpowers him and shoots him in the neck. And there's more, but you really need to see it.

It occurs to me that this may sound sick to some people, but it is seriously funny. Or maybe I just have issues. I like to think of this movie as a litmus test. If I can sit someone down to watch it and they laugh, we're good. If they don't, then we may have problems on down the line. See, Wolverton's face is all messed up from getting shot in it, and Vanessa mocks him and it's funny. There's gore, chicks in prison (with the obligatory make out scene), hooking, and guns. What more can a girl ask for? The only real problem I have with the movie is that Vanessa seems to have gone to the backwoods of Arkansas to get her accent. She's supposed to be in LA. It's pretty jarring until you get into the movie.

DROOL FACTOR: Sorry, but not really. Pretender guy is seriously disgusting. Vanessa's boyfriend Chopper is pretty hot, but he gets capped pretty early in the film.

GROSS-OUT FACTOR: Yes and then some. There's brains on a wall, people getting cut up, and buckets of blood. But in a fun way.

STRONG CHICK FACTOR: Vanessa could give Buffy's Faith a run for her money. If you're in the mood to see a movie where some chick stomps anyone stupid enough to get in her way, this is the flick for you.

-- Alicia Thompson

Freeway is currently available on video.

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