Quote of the Month: "All I can do is wish that God may take mercy upon you." -- in response to our Roswell review

Hell hath no fury like a Roswell fan scorned, but it is likely that Satan himself has a less pathetic grasp of spelling, grammar, coherency, accuracy and, well, sanity. Thanks to the group-think mentality dominating most of the Roswell fan base encouraging posters to, we quote, "spam her ass", we at The 11th Hour soon became the recipients of inexorable proof that the distinctions between fantasy and reality, opinion and insult, are rather challenging for the average Roswell fan to make. Luckily for us, the distinction between a Roswell fan letter and a fresh dose of utter hilarity proved not nearly so elusive.

If there is one sentiment that we at The 11th Hour never tire of hearing, it has got to be this: "I get quite some amusment at reading your insiduos bable when you write a review. You're so mind-numbling dumb, that how can you even criticize Roswell?" Well, okay, not really. But it was pretty funny, wasn't it? Of course, that isn't the only letter that had our minds, uh, numbled. With an excess of insult and little articulation, a slew of the fans of TV's best alternative to Sominex shared their opinion on our reviews. "I find Roswell very inciteful," accurately (albeit inadvertently) noted one Webster's-challenged individual. "And I am not a dumb person." Of course not. Why on earth would we ever think such a thing?

After all, we certainly didn't question the brilliance of Becky Thumma, who proudly informed us, "Just goes to show you that rarely is a critic right, after all, you guys blasted 'Buffy' when it came on the air 4 years ago." Wow -- too bad The 11th Hour didn't exist until June of 1999! Quite a feat we pulled there. Some concerns were more general, like Wayvern, who angrily informed us that "I have no idea where in the world you see their blank stares so like y'know whatever!" Indeed. And we'd certainly like to thank the esteemed "mmmbop" for letting us know we "got many information on the show wrong."

Our favorite letter, however, had to come from those intrepid individuals who formed an actual committee to halt our nefarious ways. "I work for the Consultant Committee of Television Networking, and the actors which you have so poorly commented on in your article, turn in emmy-winning performances weekly in their 9:00 time slot," wrote Allison, Gwen & associates, Consultant Comittee of Television Networking. Oh really? Gosh, I guess that makes Roswell the first series to win an Emmy before the pilot ever aired! How'd that one slip by us? It must have happened four years ago, when we were trashing Buffy in our non-existent magazine.

There is much more where this comes from, but as some of our other readers also wrote in to express their opinions, we'd like to sum up our views on the volatile Roswell fans as follows: It's a review of a television series, people. Not of its fans, not a critique of the fan base, but an honest reflection of what our reviewer thought of the series -- namely, that it lurked in the nether regions of suckdom. Nowhere in either review do we berate (or for that matter, even mention) the fans of the series, although you, with your embarrassing conduct and superfluous personal insults, have certainly given us impetus to do so.

But, you know, we're not going to do that. And do you know why? Because we at The 11th Hour embrace that radical notion of differing opinions. Just as you have the right to love Roswell, we have the right to think it's a pretentious, insipid, narcolepsy-inducing pile of bat dung. Are we right? No. But neither are you, because that is only an opinion. And we, unlike you, are not making obnoxious attacks ("don't worry, the blemishes will go away, and hopefully you'll find a brain"), threats ("You have made a lot of people angry and you will regret it") or pathetically bragging about our intellect ("I am a 30 year old highly intelligent woman with an I.Q of 147"). We are also not spamming your message boards with incoherent, insulting rants, although we were happy when you sent us the URL to your own hate-filled fan forum, as this illuminating nugget of information was found:

"Why is it people like this who can't write get cool jobs doing things like this [reviewing TV shows] when people such as myself who can write have to struggle just to get people to notice them?"

Ahhh. For a fan of an alien series, you seem to have a far greater affinity with a certain green-eyed monster. But enough trying to talk sense into the mob -- onto more of the mail...

Well, at least some people like us...

Can I just tell you how much I love this site? I stumbled on it entirely by accident while looking for a Sleepy Hollow Windows theme and my frustration slowly turned to amazement as I realized that there was a page out there that seemed to be made just...for...me. 'Bout time that the Geek Gurl stood up for herself and proclaimed "I am not a sexless, retainer-wearing, basement-dwelling dork, nor am I a giddy and empty-headed teenybopper!" 11th Hour is smart, funny, and apparently has the ability to read my mind. And it's chock full of pictures of hottie "genre" boys, and that's never a bad thing. I live with two geek guys, most of my friends are geek guys, and though I appreciate their companionship it's hard to have meaningful discussions with them about things like strong female role models in the Sci-Fi and Horror genres, or how hot Bruce Campbell is. Just wanted to let you know how refreshing it was to read reviews, articles, and interviews from the female genre-lover's perspective. And the site itself is so beautifully and elegantly designed...such a nice change these days. So keep dishing out the Glenn Quinn, Ewan McGregor, and Johnny Depp (the "bod" in "Ichabod," indeed!) and I'll keep taking it. Many thanks!
-- Theora Jones

I have been happily logging on since the first edition. I, at last, had to write. I've enjoyed the reviews, articles, and interviews and have, for the most part, agreed with everything. Imagine my delight to find a pack--er, gaggle--uh, group of women who agree with me that the likes of Michael Biehn, Adrian Pasdar, Gary Cole, and Bruce Campbell are stone hotties. Most people don't even know who these guys are... I will continue to visit on the 11th of every month for my dose of wit, sarcasm, and pics of smoldering slabs of beefcake. I have shown my long-suffering parents your site and they feel much better in the knowledge that their daughter is not the lone freak of nature they thought she was. That out there, somewhere, there are others like her not solely interested in girly things. That it is not that unusual for their "little girl" to come home from movies like Aliens and Terminator 2 with a flush to her cheeks and a satisfied air. While I can read an article, nod vigorously, and say, "How 'BOUT it, sister!" they have a source of comfort that is worth more than you'll ever know. See? You're truly reaching out and helping people. And isn't that what the Web is all about? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a strong need to go see Kevin Bacon sweaty and shirtless...
-- Carrie Rockenhauser

More hotties missing in action...

While I thoroughly agree with your choices of Peter Wingfield, Gary Cole, Jason Carter, and most of the others actually, you made one glaring oversight in your list of genre hunks that need a new show. Where's Stan Kirsch?! He's cute, funny, intelligent, a fantastic actor, and was way under-appreciated and misunderstood by the producers and writers of Highlander. Other than that you guys have great taste though.
-- Kathleen M. Wilson

Lisa responds: Considering your devotion to Kirsch, I feel like I almost shouldn't own up to this, but... I laughed when Richie died. Every time he died, actually, but mostly when his own mentor lobbed off his head. I laughed really, really hard. I'm a bad person. But it felt so good!

I was linked to your site from a fellow fan at the Rysher Highlander Forum. Now, I'm *bouncing* all the way to bed! Unfortunately, it's the 11th hour for my night's sleep. And the last thing I want to do is SLEEP! I'd rather be perusing this wonderfully engaging website of all my fave genre stars and shows. Boy! Have you guys hit the nails on the heads. So why aren't the movers & shakers in Hollywood listening? There is NO actor more deserving of his own show than Peter Wingfield, a.k.a Methos of Highlander: The Series fame. I formed a letter writing campaign for Mr. Wingfield last year to no avail. Not even Davis nor Panzer responded to our pleas.
-- Debra, aka Oubliette.

Wow -- this is an awesome archive! I agree one hundred percent with all of your choices here. Most of these actors I have followed in their limited careers, eating up every moment of their screen time I could get -- and there simply was not enough. Thanks for bringing it to the public's attention. (And the "squirrels" could only wish they were deserving of such talent!)
-- Trinity

Hello 11th Hour. I quite enjoyed your page on the missing in action (MIA) hotties of sci-fi. I was really glad to see Bruce Greenwood and Nick Lea (two highly overlooked actors) on your list. But you forgot a few: D.B. Sweeney (Harsh Realm, Strange Luck), Jerry O'Connell (My Secret Identity, Sliders), Richard Dean Anderson (MacGyver, Stargate SG 1), Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap), and Morgan Weisser (Quantum Leap, Space: Above and Beyond, The X-Files.)
-- Miss Afshan Ahmad