Kevin Smith's Dogma is a detailed and obviously well-researched explanation of Catholic doctrine. The script is equal parts strong and weak. It rants a lot and even drags through the first half - making you feel every minute of its 2 hours. But at the same time, who can resist a movie that compares God to John Hughes? Where a demon's henchmen appear in the form of 10-year-old hockey goons? The uneven pacing is worth the wait, if not just for the bloody, comic book-style and ridiculously hilarious, final showdown.

Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) is a cynical, Catholic abortion clinic worker. She feels her prayers haven't been answered when, out of nowhere, a thundering voice from a ball of fire appears before her in the middle of the night. She puts the fireball out with an extinguisher, revealing a coughing, crotchety angel of God, Metatron, played by the always cool Alan Rickman. He tells her she is Jesus' distant descendant and it is her destiny to save the world from destruction. You see, two fallen angels, Loki (Matt Damon) and Bartleby (Ben Affleck), have found a doctrinal loophole that will allow them to return to Heaven by walking through a church's door in New Jersey. This action will bring on the apocalypse unless she can stop them from defying God.

Kevin Smith is known for being a styleless director who relies more on getting good performances from his actors rather than with any thought in camera work. He is a little more ambitious this time with his visuals, but it is still the chemistry between wacky cast of divine characters that hold this picture together. Appearing to both help and complicate Bethany's quest include: the 13th black apostle (Chris Rock), a demon (Jason Lee), a heavenly Muse (Salma Hayek) and two unlikely Prophets - good 'ol stock characters, Jay and Silent Bob (as seen in Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy). As per usual, Jay stands out with his lewd jokes but every character shines equally - even Silent Bob gets an emotional teary-eyed scene.

Alas, there are times when Smith's wordy dialogue can become awfully heavy-handed, needless and well, soapbox preachy. One of these moments come from Serendipity who goes at great length to complain about how religion is really all about having faith. Hey, I totally agree! BUT, having a character deliver this as a sanctimonious speech isn't nearly as interesting as having the character prove this to you through their actions. Perhaps he felt that it had to be pounded into every dimwit's head in the theater (i.e. the 12-year-old kid who sneaked in just for Jay's dirty wisecracks). The thing is, Dogma's key idea shines through even without the superfluous dialogue. It successfully provokes the notion that Religion should be a matter of joy, not guilt; that Salvation is a gift, not something you must suffer for to earn. So, all the dick jokes, self-conscious movie references and mockery aside, Dogma brings home its point. None too subtly, but in such an absurd and entertaining way that will inevitably make you smile.

DROOL FACTOR: A toss-up between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. They are together again for the first time since Good Will Hunting, their subsequent over-exposure as media darlings, and those persisting jokes that they are actually homosexual lovers. (i.e. Oh Matt, you make me so horny, I wanna shove our Oscar right up my ass!)... not that there's anything wrong with that... ANYWAY, Damon (the better actor) looks like a sweet little five-year-old most of the time. To drool for him would make me feel like a pedophile. Affleck is the more attractive cause he's got that square jaw action going on.

GROSS-OUT FACTOR: An incredibly revolting battle scene between our heroes versus a menacing glob of crap. Think the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, only made of shit. The scene itself is rather irrelevant to the plot, but for the record, there actually is such a symbol of evil in scripture! Ezekiel 4:9-13 - God asked the prophet Ezekiel to make cakes cooked over human excrement.

STRONG CHICK FACTOR: Hats off to Mr. Kevin Smith. Not one, not two.. but, count 'em... THREE! First off, we have the Stripper With a Heart of Gold! Mind you, Serendipity the Muse (Salma Hayek) transcends the stripper stereotype. She is the source of wisdom and great ideas. After all, she thought up 19 of the top 20 grossing films of all time (Home Alone excluded) and she gets extra points for her heartfelt diatribe about Elvis Presley's value to humanity. Secondly, our hero Bethany (Linda Fiorentino). Somewhat confused (bordering on neurotic, but never pushing it that far) over the sudden weight put on her shoulders, but nonetheless, the valiant saviour of the world. And lastly, God is a woman in the form of a simple, Alanis Morissette. A peaceful healer much more amusing than the typical foreboding images of the Almighty.

Dogma is currently in theaters nationwide.

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