"River Dog "
Airdate: November 17, 1999

I've decided that in order to enjoy Roswell I should just ignore the cow eyed, not to mention bovine brained, Liz (Sheri Appleby) and dull as dishwater, monotoned Max (Jason Behr) and instead concentrate on the annoying supporting couple, the oddly coifed Michael (Brendan Fehr) and his partner in hairdo shame Maria (Majandra Delfino). That said....

OHM'GAWD! Michael and Maria kissed! [insert hysterical squeal]

COUGH, COUGH

I'm sorry. I tried. I really did. But once again Roswell shoots itself in the foot with what I've come to believe is a trademark problem. Pacing. That is to say, everything moves at a snail's pace. Even the tried and true arguing scene that leads to smooching is done all wrong. The kiss between the aforementioned Alien Without A Clue and Earth Girl Without A Brain comes not hot on the heels of a heated argument, but long moments after it's already finished. And then they suddenly remember the passage from the Unresolved Sexual Tension handbook and try to pass it off as nothing?

Unfortunately by that time nothing is just about what I felt. The only cute moment came earlier during an exchange that occurred in front of Isabel (Katherine Heigl) when she said, "Are you two flirting?" or something like that. Actually I'm glad she mentioned it, because had she not, I wouldn't have known myself.

I have to admit though, M&M's chemistry is better than Moo and Mono. But it's not like that's really all that difficult, ya know? All in all it was pretty dreadful. However, should they decide to pick up the pace a bit and keep M&M butting heads, it might just get a bit better.

Oh yeah, and there was some bit about some pendant Isabel found and some old guy on the reservation knowing another alien. Blah. Blah. Blah. I'm just waiting for someone to walk in on M&M swappin' spit.

-- Linda M. Najera

Roswell airs at 9pm EST, Wednesdays on The WB.

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